this is just me, just who i've been
really since i can't even remember when

taking the time, falling from grace
nothing i do can rewind or erase

hands cold, walls breathe, bones become tired
in the life of a space cadet, there's extra care required

i've hit the idle hour, the need to get outside my head
can't do what i want so i need to go to bed

my restless mind wanders, shifts through shades of gray
turn the brain off, doesn't work like it used to anyway

I feel like I've been up all night,
But it's not even 3 am.
You promised things would change,
But secrets are too hard to keep from me,
The truth cuts deep:
I know it never will.

Restlessness,
Sleepless tonight...

There is a whole world of words in my mind.
At night, they dance around,
waltzing with each other.
Entangling themselves into sentences, into thoughts.
Spinning at their own fancy,
the music never ending.
And I, kept awake by their frivolity,
am terrified by the dust disturbed by their dance
on the floor of my subconscious.

I know I should stop,
I have told myself
a thousand
*******
times
but my mind won't listen
when it is restless and
needs comforting,
I am lighting
cigarette
after cigarette,
drinking *****,
whiskey, gin,
anything hard
to really put an end
to the voices in my head;
but they keep coming back
they're not backing down,
I'm being eaten
from the inside out