Like a cancer I cling to you when I should turn away,
Darkness, please don't fill this space,
Sorrow, please delay.

An incessent yearning leaking onto my ideas, the colour of dismay,
Suicide, be gone from mind,
Please creation, not decay.


The memory of you, a wound untreated, a jewel I locked away,
Me, a safe for your callous act,
Please, don't you dare stay.


Your company, Vincent's night robbed of stars in the cruelest way,
Myself, a ***** amongst kings,
At least, that's what you would say.


Knowing better and feeling worse, duality in the doorway,
A love you have dispassionately marred,
No more prophetic ray.


The clouds are clearing, no thanks to you and your own ego's way,
Light, within me to be found,
And this is my new day!

The first lesson they teach us in EMT class
Is to never lose our compassion,
Never forget that every patient is
A human being with a story, a family, a life.
They tell us to keep our emotions in check
But to never lose our respect,
The trust in the competency and freedom of choice,
For we are the link of survival
On the worst day of their lives.
We were not there to know the reason that led
Up to the call,
But we are there to get them through the danger that followed.
Why then does the text book instruct us to abandon our respect,
Abandon the presumption of humanity
At the mere thought of the words 'developmental disability?'
Why do the words Autism and Down Syndrome suddenly
Make it okay to condescend and patronize as if to a child,
To infantilize an adult whose intelligence we are not qualified to assume?
Why is it my duty to respect a neurotypical patient
And my job to abandon it for the developmentally disabled?
I wonder if they would encourage my peers to treat me the same?
After all, who cares that I am top of the class and squad leader to boot?
Who cares that I answer the most questions or scored highest on the test?
I am autistic. I am considered less than human.
No.
The textbook is wrong,
Primitive despite being updated in 2018.
Respect every patient means Respect ALL,
No exceptions,
No diagnostic caveats.
'First, do no harm.'
Treat with empathy and compassion.
It is their own inhumanity that prevents them
From recognizing the humanity inside us,
The developmentally challenged.
I live on planet Autism,
Population 1 in 59,
No less of a person than any other,
Perhaps more human really.
That humanity is the force behind my First Responder drive.
Do not deign to treat me as small child or foreign planet inhabitant.
Forget the basis in the archaic.
Respect and compassion for all cannot be checked at the door.
I am not less than.
My struggles have, if anything,
Forced me to become more.

I drag you from ya bed,
              tie you up in


night terrors that are alive.


Razor wire gags, that give you
               that Cheshire cat smile.

As tears touch cold metal..


You'll never use your mouth again,

    to verse disrespect to me
            or those closet to my family tree.

          I haven't the patience..

For you lack lustre mummers..


This is message to those who think
                      they can smile in my direction.

Words have consequences.


    "yo wake up,

                   "What the hell you doing in my room,

"you ready to smile,

I always have time
to offer a kind word
share some news
sincere advice

It annoys me when I
invest my precious time
and it's not valued
It is the greatest disrespect to me

Do not give me your sugar-coated
words of entertainment
it really does not impress me
be real honey, that is awe-inspiring

You think I care
I do, more than I should - actually
I am independent and strong
I do not need to be your side distraction, honey.

Thank You

For everything you've taught me
Through these short years
For believing in me
When even I didn't
For providing me with an outlet
And positive feedback

Teachers deserve more appreciation than they get
And I just want it to be known
That I'll miss this choir
This class where I've felt loved
This home that you've made
Within these school walls

Thank You

The mother of ones

children is a godess,
      for she birthed creation.

  Where a man can only plant,

a woman nurtures
and watch's it grow
               into something beautiful.


That both can be proud of.

Knowing that one was once
             a seed,

is now strong enough
         to branch off on there own.

The definition of self,
        Is not to liner on our
                       Problems.


But to help others to solve
             The failings
    That can be proven to
                 Be an asset of learning.

And change it..

For the better,
       That way,

we are lessons that teach
       Each other substance.

I put you in a frame today
Pretending to feel all that I spew.
Gave you a little respect,
Because you're somebody I once knew.

They tell me it wasn't your fault
The dreadful things he did.
How your body was not your own,
And the aches you cannot rid.

Words are hard to speak
With his body forced against yours.
Next day feel like his stench
Is dripping out your pores.

So I put you in a frame today
To remind myself of what it takes.
The strength to keep going,
He'll never be the one who makes us break.

I've found it's dangerous to be different
and that it's likely to offend
but I can't help my being me
and I no longer will pretend

that I'm the one who is at fault
that I owe an apology
when the truth is that it is you
who should get used to me

I don't mind your naive questions
I welcome every one
but don't assume that being different
makes me a source of fun

instead let's reach agreement
that we've both got lots to learn
and while I try to learn some patience
you'll learn deference in return