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Jack Jenkins Dec 2019
Unequivocal uninspiration usurping my greater judgement
That perhaps this paper might be better left unwritten
For foolish folly fails to grow my intrepid soul
Daggered demons drift across sleepless eyes
Hunting in the night for any light
Meant to be burnt but smothered on sight
Red rivers release droplets into panten lungs
Organs of oddity never needed but to draw dead air
This is thus the safety of my mind and heart, departed and slain
//On life//

Days that layer on one another compound into a sad story, someday...
Many days and many nights I couldn’t reach catharsis.
Narcissistic dialogue and lust was how it started.
Lust for power,
Lust for ***,
I balanced on the wire.
Built my tower,
Learned to flex,
Never thought I’d tire.
While looking for a diamond crown I made my way to glory:
Carved a track through youthful bliss all while writing my own story.
From troubled teen
To filled with dreams,
I formed the squad into a team.
I wouldn’t scream when things got tough;
I’d always keep composure.
Intelligent with malevolence
Was how I’d learned to soldier.
No disclosure,
Never trust,
Looking to manipulate.
Made it known
It was a must
For opponents to capitulate.
Things were moving well enough
When dear old lust in whom we trust…
Reappeared back on the scene,
And of my feathers
Began to preen.

So,

Doubled down,
Went for the crown.
Changed the crew,
Time it flew.
Golden status
Seemed so near,
But red and blue
Were in the mirror
News had spread;
My walls were breached.
Of loss I had no knowledge.
Prison bread;
Amongst the freaks.
Twenty-five for living lawless.
For God had turned and dealt a blow
For all of those bad seeds I’d sewed.
And blow for blow
In social woe
I’ve lived my life in shackles.
Cai Nov 2019
It’s simple as honey dripping from my lips.


I don’t want to love you anymore.
If loving you will become a job then I quit. Because I’m tired of this. I’m tired of feeling this way. I became someone who lost the sparkle in her eyes.
And lately, I have been needing you more than I intend to.
That is not how it’s supposed to be.
Yet,
You adore how I put you first, before anyone else.
You adore how I put you first, instead of myself.

No, No and NO

Enough is enough.

We both know I deserve the world. I used to say I deserved you. But now, I just pity myself. Look at me lying through my teeth. My heart banging out of my chest for the truth to be let out. I gave you my all when I shouldn’t have. I didn’t leave myself a piece. And that is what I regret the most.


Hi im back. This is based on my personal experience. I hope you enjoy it!
ultraviolet Nov 2019
-  is the saddest word you'll ever hear
You'd wish for more,
But all that you had was almost.
Emily Nov 2019
I thought it would work.
But the darkness inside,
Took control of my hands,
And built a wall,
That kept you out.

I can take the blame.
I was far away from,
The girl that you deserve.
My voice never worked,
When I was with you.

Honestly I thought,
That you could break those walls,
And save me from myself.
But that’s my fault too,
Because you’re no hero.
A poem that says what I couldn’t
Psychostasis Nov 2019
I've been thinking about you each day, maybe twice
And how disfigured your world views can get
And how I could help if I could go back with abilities to stop regrets

I'd tell you not to worry but I know that's a lost cause
Because back then you were trying to treat your feelings with rap gauze

I'd tell you love yourself because you're the only one that matters
Or maybe tell you how my brain works now, to see if you'd get sadder
I know the world was built on shakey grounds of lots of stress
But no one you know thinks like you son,
That was your genesis

I would tell you how you should see your dad
But back then if anyone bad talked the family you'd get mad
So maybe I can tell you why everyone is out to hurt you
Or why you'll try to make your life close the ******* curtain.

Maybe I can give you space to ****** grieve
Over your aunts, uncles and friends that had to leave
Maybe discourage your ambitions and untie the knot
I know life's a surplus of vacant parking lots
Where dreams, ambitions and desires start punching rocks
Until they're morphed into creatures you refuse to acknowledge
Until your final break down at the "Pittsburgh Rip off College"

Maybe I could tell you to feel your pain
Or lessen the impact of prescription drugs on that younger brain
Maybe even make you into who you're meant to be
But I fear that that answer maybe me

I'd tell you to talk to mom, and open up
Take up the vacant room she left you in that hut
I'd help you sleep at night with soulful lullabies
And put you to sleep with our own hurt pride

Maybe if I could bleed the effects of the pre-condition
You'd be intelligent and have some kind of ancient wisdom
Lessons that stuck from two worlds apart
But most of all, I'd tell you to take the sleeve from that bleeding heart
There's no wound to nurse once you break the silence
Because the only reason it still hurts is cuz you're keeping quiet

You'll grow up to be a manipulator
The kind of person you won't despise until much later
The kind of person that uses people for mental exercise
The person who isn't afraid to resort to lies.

Sometimes I wonder if it would even make a difference
Or if the timeline would adjust the route,
Like a downhill liquid.

I killed myself to make me view
That life is how I see it,
So now I look at you.
Matthew Nov 2019
If you could hold me, scold me now
excuse tearing tears weeping shame
as I cry to you from deadmans brow
fireheart Oct 2019
I began carrying my regrets with me,
stuffed into plastic bags.

A heavy drag on my shoulders,
handles digging into my palms.

At least it would be easy to suffocate myself with them.
Written 30/10/2016
Eloisa Oct 2019
I just thought that I have left your memories ashore and buried them deep under the sand.
But they were carried by the waves again
in the middle of the ocean.
Here where I am trying to find
and rebuild myself.
Waves of longing and regrets are crushing
my sail.
I’m now swimming, drowning in nostalgic pain.
I dived deep within your memories
and finally found my heart.
I held my precious heart, stayed afloat
and saw a glimpse of my own horizon.
Though self-forgiveness and peace
are yet far to be reached.
I still have my strength.
And I promise not to drown again.
~An emotional journey
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