Shall I fade into the quiet nothingness?
To be lost?
To wander?
To exist in the dark places of your heart?

Shall I have no meaning?
No hope?
No love?
No light to guide my way?

I refuse.

Won’t you lie here with me? Can’t we just let the world slip away?
Or would it hurt you too much to let anyone near your heart? Even if that someone is me?
Won’t you say anything at all? Even if it’s not what I want to hear? I’d rather have harsh truths than kind lies.
And I know you will not lie. You will not be kind.
Your face is stoic, it makes me want to cry.
Do you not feel anything? Does anything break through the surface of your skepticism? Though I try and try to see past your unrelenting negativity you continue to surprise me with your coldness. How do you stay so cold?
The silence you project is screaming, pounding in my ears and everything in me burns for the affection you refuse to give.
Why do you pretend I’m not even here? I want a way out, but being alone terrifies me more than you do. Terrifies me more than the silence and the cold. Maybe after a while, the coldness won’t hurt.

I can wait.

Humanity travels with strangers
With strange people

who are only strange to us because we lack their humanity
because we know not of their suffering

Because we know not what we destroy with the refusal to handle things carefully

You know I haven't written about looking at myself loathing what I see but is been weighing on my frontal lobe so I'm gonna write this outta me
I've been through to much to feel this way again
I refuse to give up I need to grow up and be strong, if not for me then my family and friends
But then maybe I've been strong for too long
All humans need time to breathe that sigh of relief from not having to fight any longer
But I've taken loss after loss and fallen down and each time I've gotten up I was hurt, but stronger
This throng of self doubt and disappointment hurts me to even talk about every time I seem to build confidence I get crushed by second guessing and doubt without my friends I don't even think I'd be here right now
So thank you all
I love you
And now pen, take your bow

Every interaction was filled with irritation,
A simple reminder that you never loved me the same

So why did I bother to hold on to you
Why did you bother to sneak a glance my way

Why didn't you just say you never loved me back

I do not care.
I do not.
"I do."