My eyelids paint a picture that I just can't recognize and I thought at once, dear, that it was you here- but now I see that it's just sorrow in disguise.

And I am bothered by the slaughter that her hands and wrists and knives and heart had cost her. She said that this time would be the last time, but she still cuts herself to ribbons in her free time.

She said, "I don't care anymore." She said, "This life for me is stale and growing cold." She said, "I'm not fine, but I can't find why I should care anymore.

I've had as much talk about fear and distraction as I can react to before I start going numb.

Between secondhand smoke and lies in the bedroom, these serenades to no one start to feel rehearsed.

But she said, "I don't care anymore." She said, "I'm sick and ******* tired of being bored." She said, "I'm not blind, but I can't find why I should care anymore.

She said, "I don't care anymore." She said, "I never wanted much but to feel loved." She said, "You were the last good thing in this world left to me. But now you're gone and I can't care anymore."

Ten years ahead,
I would still recognize your face
In a crowd of ten thousand

Five minutes from now,
And I would never recognize your spirit
In a crowd of two

*Where has my best friend gone?

In so many forms
I have shown me to you,
and you don’t still
recognize me?
Is a sound arising?
Without doubt he does that.
Has he a beginning and an end?
Even the illusion is insubstantial.
The world appears from resistance.
Where no resistance is,
there is liberation.


© Barbara-Paraprem, 2015

words on paper meanings truly expressed acceptance is never clear. love is just a word its meaning must be proven. when love is blind it is flawed. to not see the flaws is to mock someones being. it is better to recognize the good and the bad and learn to love the bad till it becomes good. i love everyone of your flaws because i am flawed. we both feel broken from time to time, so lets fix each other. I’ve got a few parts of a soul, you have a few pieces of a heart. lets make each other whole.

moment to moment
we are the sum total of
our chemicals

we think of ourselves
we think of others
as an average of our
time and spacial synergy
an anatomical amalgam
a biological brine

frankensteins with
personalities, commonalities and
unique agendas
sprinkled with neuroses that
range from microscopic to
catastrophic, whether
chemical reaction or
hyperbolic extraction

you can choose to
canonize or demonize
as long as you can
recognize
the flesh and the blood
versus the fantasized