why am i to spend 12 years of my life
learning the same history 12 ways
each year getting more into depth
about how straight, white, and cis,
"all" of history just happens to be
when in reality anything that was ever
deemed abnormal or harmful to america's image
just doesn't get taught.

all these years of being sheltered from the truth
about america the great
has left me with questions i'm scared will go unanswered
and so

I'd like to know which group of old white men
decided erasing history was a good idea
If i'm stuck learning about these so called achievements and revolutions which only came from the self proclaimed superiors
i'd like to know whose idea it was to forget about
The whips cracked in to bleeding black skin
Making it known that my ancestors were no more than a tool
No more than what white men, white masters made them in to
No more than a slave until 1865

I want to know who made it possible for my history teacher to ask me what my opinion on slavery is since i’m the only black kid in sight
When will they teach me why it’s okay for the 20 white kids in my class
To call me their ***** but it’s not okay for me to get mad about it

Please tell me how these people figured out
who all they should kindly choose to silence?
maybe they thought it's too much to cover in class
Since we have to have time to be taught about manifest destiny
And how Americans had every right to take land and lives
Because white men deserve to take what doesn’t belong to them
or maybe it's been deemed inappropriate
because they're too scared to admit
That America would rather hose down black kids
waiting for our skin to become clear and
praying for our melanin to wash off just so they would stop having to look at the skin they deemed sinful
than admit that America loves to make black people fearful.

When are we taught about who chose to write about all of
america's triumphs and good times but
somehow seemed to forget about the scars passed on to me from over 100 years ago
But didn’t know i had until i was ten years old.
And honestly that no longer surprises me i mean
America only speaks of cishet white guys.
and I bet you didn't know about very first gay pride.
It was a series of riots started because America decided
Loving who you want makes you unequal
And the only way to fix that is using force that’s lethal
Force that would leave lovers lives laying in the street like the never even lived
Force that led to June 28th through July 1st becoming riots that didn’t need to happen but the police couldn’t keep their privileged fingers off of gay people
But it’s fine because ignoring that part of history has become an American steeple.

At this point I know all the answers to every test asking about the history you feed us
In attempts to hide the truths of this country that wishes it never freed us
so stop teaching me the same
cis, straight, white history I've already
been taught 10 going on 11 years of my life
because i don't care about the men who wanted to keep my ancestors bound
Or the country that keeps trying to tell me that my love isn’t allowed
i care about the history they'll continue to ignore and erase.
i care about the history America begs me to forget.

Hello Lord, after the race will I find all the
etched names of my heart on the other side of time

you and i were running laps
i in blue sneakers, you in red
just a friendly competition
i had a bad limp
i was keeping pace with you
i drew attention to my leg
how i fought not to wince
every time my foot hit the gravel
how i’d been kicked
by someone wearing red sneakers
right before we began
it made you uncomfortable
defensive
angry
and you pointed to your leg
showing a similar bruise
from when you’d tripped and fell
earlier that day
  you don’t get it
you said
  you can’t complain
  because i have a limp too
  and the coach accounted for it
  and gave me a headstart
you said
  but i do
i said
  because i started last anyway
  and the coach “didn’t see” my bruise
  and no one ever will
i said
but you had already left
to run with someone less depressing
less sad
less me
but what i hadn’t gotten to tell you
is that you don’t get it
i had a limp from birth

Every passing day
And night,
It becomes harder,
To stay away from you.

Expectations and religious views weigh
us down with their might.
They drive us further
apart; our hearts blue.

Religion and Race
Should have no place
in life and love.

Our hearts bleeding
and breaking.
Forced apart
Out of each other's sight.

Begging and pleading,
Our hearts aching,
Parents, Please take heart
Understand our plight.

I always knew it
she never told me up front
or maybe she did
or maybe she pulled a trick
and snuck it in very sneakily

my heart collapses when I think of it
why she has to be that way
the wrong way, I just know it
I always knew it

she sees in black and white
I see blind
she thinks of herself, of me
Of what she knows, of what she thinks
Of what she’s always thought

But it’s wrong, I just know it

We are not so different
yet so much the same
what about the hair, what about the eyes
what about the people, how they live
how they eat, how they feel

because We need to feel
alike
and not so unlike

As to not like
from feeling unlike
is to sour
the bitter dough

it’s how they grew up
it’s how they lived
it’s what they ever knew

But it’s wrong, I just know it

she worries and she’s frightened
that I’ll be wrong in her eyes
but I simply see blind

I can’t erase their childhood
or what they learned and discovered
but I can keep mine
and learn and discover
that the world is too big
for tiny circles and squares,
sorting colors and hairs,
planting statues and stairs
that lead nowhere
but back there

wrong way, I tell you
I just know it

I have to just know it

Music is music
One can not help their feet
as they move accordingly
One genre is not meant
for a single person alone

Music does not judge
it encourages many
no matter of their race or gender
define yourself in those lyrics
and don't let pop culture get in the way

I am Comfortable
     able to ease your fears with
     a smile or a flip of my
     appropriately curly hair.

I am forgiven traffic ticket
     proper sentences and twinkly
     eyes, able to quickly ease your alarm

I am Just a Warning

I am The Exception
     elegant sentences
     king's English
     never tolerating the incorrect use of their

I am private college education
     the accessory to your culture
     the other to your subject
     always complimentary,
     but never the source of discussion

I am Beautiful
Accompanied by "What are you mixed with"
     A reflection of appropriation for my own culture
     Too White for Black,
     Too Black for White

I am inner city in the suburbs

I am Lightskinned
     the kind of Black that keeps you
     Comfortable.

Dissected a rainbow,
  but found no riddle between.

Three lights shining;
  green, red, and blue.
Tranquil white endured.

Acrylic paints running;
  green, red, and blue.
Calm black endured.

Realization occurred;
  Colors united gives
  colors divided.
Why has this incurred?