shes beautiful
shes hurting
i wish i could tell her what i thought

it hurts
to see her in so much pain
but for her not to come to me

but

i guess

im a hypocrite

guilty of the same sins
and it pains me

to be

to be putting her through
this much pain

just because

im selfish
and cant let go
but cant hold on

just there
not living
not dying

looking
out of my eyes
through frosted glass

Pangs of passion,
Flood through your fangs,
Heavy your head now hangs.

Banish these thoughts!
As you BANG-- your head--
Again--
Again!
Against the wall.

But hunger won't fade,
Nor the scent of the hen,
It lingers, it clings,
You can't help but recall,
A whisper, a wing,
Her breath, her call.

You act kind,

Say you don't care,

Get me to trust you,

Which is more than unfair



But what gained my trust,

Once kind words,

Now disfigured with disgust.



Hate the sin not the sinner you say

What nonsense,

But most importantly,

What sin?



I am but another child of God

Flesh and blood same as you,

Created as he intended

How is that a sin?

For I am no mistake,

No accidental occurrence.

Certainly not by God's hands.



A sinner minus the sin is but a person,

Laced with uncertainty,

Riddled with distrust,



What a cruel world we live in.

Society has done this to her,

Forced her to shoulder this burden

Normalized this hate,



But if you take a step back and look,

Her love is just the same as anyone else's,

Young,

Pure,

Sweet,

And .

Painful,

Yet for her its farther away

Because of the things people say,

Hateful people have done this

Drilled the supposed norms into her head,

What a cruel world we live in.



Love which was created to bring utmost happiness,

Is yet to be accepted in all forms.

What a cruel world this is.

Specked on the toes
or heals of a plate.
The horse is waiting. You don’t know it —
you should breathe in & out in situations like this.
Situations lead to more of them. You smell like Axe. My breathing hasn’t been consistent
-or monitored enough to know the depths of the soul.
Scroll down or turn the page depending on what era you are in. There is infinity on the back of my hand.
On your other back there is some tension. Taste like sweat. Southeast Asian flavored — not in an overly ****** or fetishized way. You and me are the same.
The other you called me an intruder. I know by nationality — not blood. So, you are partially right.
On the other side, you get a massage. We’ve taken turns with other versions of ourselves. Plenty of work in the 21st Century.
A job. Updated resume. For someone who might love you in that moment. Truly love that job. On the back of your real back.
A *******. Not a quickie. We work. Free labor. We use our hands to make things. All jobs are hand jobs — don’t be a pervert. I thought you were a nice person. Don’t sexualize everything? What job isn’t a *******?
Why is it so hard? Why is it so big? Why do I have expectations?
We met at a mall. Or you picked me up. My feelings are present. Your feelings back there. You and me are scared. Because jobs that are tiring can be scary.
I miss all of you. You’re back and my back. My stupidity and my wisdom is yours too. The back seat smells like SafeGuard. Breathe in. Brea- Calm. No more scared.
You just ate. That’s how we flirt in the Philippines.
I had black pepper on my foods because it’s used on the front of a dish where I’m from-
When I eat, I don’t burp from the back. You sprinkle the front of the food on its back.
On the front of the back of the phone is an anticipation.
People I know of back home are dying. There is black pepper. No one I have been really close to has passed yet. In the back of your mind you know it’ll happen.
I back up a bit from the table and you. I always think I am smart. I always think of crying when I get home. But I am too smart to cry in public.
Back up — back up. Black up. Sprinkle Black Pepper on food. For you. Backed by support from followers like you.
You may be familiar with my back. Or vice versa. What a beautiful time it is to eat Black Pepper in September!
Wondering what is going on in the back of their minds. You tell me to get over it.
Try the Black Pepper in a town near you. Sides go great with a little back back dash of the Black Pepper. Yes I am ok.
You need salt. I need salt. Back away. Because moderation. Just use Black Pepper. It is your job.
Black. Then front. Top it off. Then back and black. Self love advice — taking everything with a grain of (bath) salt.
Which Black Pepper is the best Black Pepper?
Back and Black. Duh.
Forward through the congestion of Cebu City — I back up but not enough. My new job is to sprinkle the Black Pepper on us. After the commute.
Crazy?
You’re crazy, babe.
You…
Baby, I know I am crazy.
Sike.
You bet.
Because of the motorcycle makes me feel dangerous and cool on your back. I drove too. Danger. You. Never mind! Never. Mind. Men are dumb. That includes me.
That means everything men do other men and women they pursue is dumb. Black Pepper takes their mind off that front and back to the front. People are dumb. Di ba?
Black Pepper is Black Pepper. Nothing but Black Pepper. I love me so much. You too. You told me to love myself more. So I ate Black Pepper.
You aren’t always looking at palm trees, or nature, like I do. Back on your phone. Black pepper grounds the tree.
Now from the back to the other back I calmly sneeze.
Where has life taken you in regards to others? The backs of theirs.
It is not hard to believe in the world of form — because Black Peppers are on my back.
So is the back of your motorbike. I smell Black Pepper on my upper lip. There is Black Pepper sprinkles. Everywhere. I use the back of my wet hand to wipe the back. You wipe the front.
— in the back of my mind, I’m glad most of the Black Pepper is covered by my clothes.
Sleeping on back back — exhale. Exhaling from both the nostrils. I remember the time I garnished a dish with Black Pepper in the Upper East Side. I felt gross. I remember that moment in the back of my mind.
How could anyone hate you if you’re back?
Black Pepper eaters never seem to care too much. So you — don’t back up that with a fact check. Back up. I am not crazy.
I love the blacks. I love the peppers. If you back the love too — it’s a job. You too will know love from the back.
— Sprinkled with black pepper and backed by gold.

How does it feel?

To be a leech?
To siphon the life out of everyone who has the misfortune of breathing your air?
To paint the room with a stench so thick with wickedness that the walls cave in around you?

How does it feel to loathe the essence of your own animal so loudly-
And yet, so shamefully?
Does it soften the torment?
Or do you just lie in it?
Sink in it?
Drown in it?

Does it really cut you open like the Curse of Aphrodite?
Feast on your rancid, rotted, spirit?
Or is it just Ananke and Phthonus smoldering in your veins?
Fueling your fire together
and igniting that foul and wretched creature inside of you?  

How does it feel to bare witness?
To be consumed by us?
To be plagued by the melody of our magic,
knowing your seething rage forever falls on deaf ears?

Does it bubble up through your chest and spill out of your ***** stained spout?
Does it flood your fragile bones,
and your tormented mind,
and your weak, trembling hands?

And does it soothe your bleeding tongue to swallow the sharpness of my sword?
And does it keep your embers warm to see yourself in her?
Or are you freezing?
In your own inexorable desolation?
Your casket of delusion?
In the frigid blight of a just exile?

Tell me:
How does it feel to sit in your brokenness?
To be so fractured by sickness?
So poisoned with envy?
What is it then,
Is it the purity of my blade you so desperately lust after?
Or just a mouthful of blood?

How does it feel to know,
in the deepest parts of you,
that when you lick your yearning lips at the thought of her,
you are tasting the flesh of your own captor?

How does it feel?
I’m glad I’ll never know.

For you,
I feel an ancient yearning
Baked into my bones
A cosmic ache-
A prehistoric hunger-
A primitive pining

Yes,
It’s a supernatural connection—
Mine and yours—
A rest-the-vessel,
Let-the-tides-guide,
Sacred sort of love

Because betwixt us,
There is a longing
Only the moon
No — only god, herself  
And all her sapphic sovereignty
Could resist

There is a glowing desire
So fervent within us
That I wish I could reach into your Heavenly Body
And pull out your stars  
And thread them into the nest of my womb

An immortal, galactic romance—
Ours is—
Fit for gallery halls and poetry readings
And woven with all the glittery things  
But it’s Roommates, they’ll call us
Roommates, reads our plaque

Roommates—
Not lovers, nor sweethearts
Not partners, nor darlings
No lust
No lore
The saga of us, enduring no more

Celestial stains and divine shame
Roommates, we’ll remain
So we’ll guard this holy matrimony,
We’ll let our lovers’ anthem die
We know the truth is in the stars
We know who lives a lie

what disgust
and horror
that i should call you queer

and as if this
was an imperfection
yes a delusion
that plagues till this day
the youth of men

men who call you ***
men who call you *****
men who call you up for ***

and yet they cannot
face their tears
that side of fear
that keeps them strong

who keeps you there
why are you thinking of me?
your attraction for me
keeps you reeling
keeps you falling
keeps you trapped
in this place you call safe

i called you queer
but you called me ***

as if one is better than the other

it still remains

you are the one
burning in fear

I love my parents, but they’re out of it.
For high school graduation, they gave me a gift.
A genie, three wishes, you get the gist.
A big responsibility for an eighteen-year-old kid.
What should I wish for? Well, I don’t know!
Beginning of summer, maybe I’ll wish for snow?
First semester of college, but I don’t wanna go.
Maybe I’ll wish to already know.
Know English, Spanish, math, science, and more,
But I’d rather know what’s on the ocean floor.
Why not cure cancer? Because it seems like a chore.
No, what I really want is the one I adore!
Genie, I wish for my perfect girl.
The most beautiful one in the whole world.
Give me a stunner, one that I can twirl.
Genie said wait, don’t give that a whirl.
I am all powerful, all knowing too.
So I know a secret, one about you.
Now don’t deny it, for you know it’s true.
You don’t like girls, or “doing the do”.
You, kid, are gay. Trust me, I’m the genie.
So don’t ask for a taco when you really want ******.

the cyan air is kind again
our tongues much softer now
there is no wicked prophecy
left here to disavow

in this cruel place we knelt and wept
as autumn bore her teeth
but still it’s here where love has slept  
that roots have birthed beneath

she knew not the seeds that she had sewn
would stretch to taste the light
and in that wretched grime had grown
a fruit so pure and bright

and oh, how kind the stars have been
for here and now we stand
with all the saplings and the sins
together, hand in hand

what’s blossomed here is ours to tend,
a harvest all our own
this, i know, is the sweetest end
that i have have ever known