I dream of yesterdays gone

Where laughter is heard and love everywhere

Letting me wander half-memories in a happy haze

Dry eyes
Warm cheeks

And in an instant it vanishes

Still smiling
Wake to cruel reality

And onto everything fading brain clutches uselessly

As if pursuing Eldorado or some other impossible treasure

My skin crawls in your presence now.
This aversion is painfully present,
deep-seated, inexorable.
My antipathy
I feel for you is
     pushing
back.

Grinding away the
rind of my rib-cage,
I will not let the disease reach my
organs.
My fragile lungs
my tender heart.

The veil of insects and filth
lifted
upon realization that it is time for me to go.
Weaponizing insect repellent
for the pursuit of freedom.

A useful key to creativity
Write a list of things you need to
do today before you get distracted
by the brain to procrastinate
Prioritise three aims that helps you
produce to consume
The days flick through fast without
a view ahead of what to do
Life is shorter than expected so
hold a set of goals in pursuit
Looking back on what was done
later on fulfils a cycle to review

One must imagine Sisyphus ripped.
Shoulders like Boulders.
Quads like God's.
He was literally doing Olympian training!

If the thrill of the hunt sets you a'flame
I long to be the man to play your game
But I'm not a beast to be satisfied with a bone
No "here's a scrap" now go on alone

For me, it's your divine feminine I pursue
The gods felt like showing off when they crafted you
Your sense, so dark, so deep, is what I'll follow
Don't short-shrift my time and make my efforts hollow

I'm in need of a feast - your body, your mind
My cravings won't end with wrinkled sheets and a bottle of wine.
Your flesh on my tongue is what I will savor
I'll eat you alive, if you'll return the favor.

I want to devour you whole
Your spirit, your soul
And once I've stripped you down to your core,
Only then, my dear, will we start the chase once more.

I never knew what I wanted
What I needed from him
I couldn’t see clearly
Why I was unhappy and hurting

But I know what I want now
I know what I’m looking for
And I know what it’s gonna take
I know what I deserve

I want pursuit
I want him to want me
And want to know me
To spend time learning who I am

I don’t want to have to be first
I want to feel like I’m important to him
Like I matter and my feelings mean something
And I want to be chosen

I’m not going to give myself freely
To anyone who walks up to me
And tells me I’m pretty
And flatters me

I’m going to be the strong person I am
And stand on my own two feet
And make my life what I want it to be
If he wants me, then he’ll have to come get me

I know who I am now
And I know I’m good enough
I know I’m not unlovable
I’m not perfect, but I’m enough

I deserve to be asked on a date
And to be taken on an adventure
I deserve time and effort
And caring and compassion

I deserve at least what I give
And I can give a lot of love
And I care so much
I want that in return

In a way that speaks to me
And it may be difficult
But love isn’t easy
And neither am I

So I’m not selling myself short this time
I’m not settling for looks
Or good ***
Or a fun time

I’m holding out for passion
And strong pursuit
And caring about the little things
And not holding back

I will love people with all I have
And wear my heart on my sleeve
Because that’s who I am
But I won’t let just anyone have me