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Jan 2020
I never knew what I wanted
What I needed from him
I couldn’t see clearly
Why I was unhappy and hurting

But I know what I want now
I know what I’m looking for
And I know what it’s gonna take
I know what I deserve

I want pursuit
I want him to want me
And want to know me
To spend time learning who I am

I don’t want to have to be first
I want to feel like I’m important to him
Like I matter and my feelings mean something
And I want to be chosen

I’m not going to give myself freely
To anyone who walks up to me
And tells me I’m pretty
And flatters me

I’m going to be the strong person I am
And stand on my own two feet
And make my life what I want it to be
If he wants me, then he’ll have to come get me

I know who I am now
And I know I’m good enough
I know I’m not unlovable
I’m not perfect, but I’m enough

I deserve to be asked on a date
And to be taken on an adventure
I deserve time and effort
And caring and compassion

I deserve at least what I give
And I can give a lot of love
And I care so much
I want that in return

In a way that speaks to me
And it may be difficult
But love isn’t easy
And neither am I

So I’m not selling myself short this time
I’m not settling for looks
Or good ***
Or a fun time

I’m holding out for passion
And strong pursuit
And caring about the little things
And not holding back

I will love people with all I have
And wear my heart on my sleeve
Because that’s who I am
But I won’t let just anyone have me
Written by
Andromyda  25/F/Texas
(25/F/Texas)   
118
   Juneau
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