Searching for a monument to build,
to my stranger nature.
A display of living purpose,
but it's paper,
A failure to surface,
when the current spills
my hopes out to the maker.

I'm breathing toxic calamity like a vapor.
I'm receding, firing soliloquies over faders,
and waiting for it to taper.
The baser instinct to sink into
to a shape conforming destiny's favor, amazing
but it's death in a manger.
A gift of unrequested breath
to levy questions of our nature
impartial but starting to loose
the fruit for us to play with

Don't play with your food
the canopy vines can't seem to stay in the mood
when amity cries
just as we bite another layer
and hope our spirit affords an existential favor.

The corporeal farce of the mortal coil
Where I'm going, what I've done,
who I am, who I have to become

Who am I to give a ****
about what has to be done
will I be actualized
if I inhabit the gun
will I be dazzled to find
that I should never have won
that all my fevers of prayer
were only threads to be spun

I am the definition of survivor's bias
clamoring for comprehension to a writer's silence
buying into lines reverberating in my mind
and all the while I soak
in revelation of the killing kindness

an absence of a unique purpose
a lavish elusiveness revealing
time as worthless, when I dig for deeper meaning
but seemingly informed by enduring
anguish in a world to test which
axiom I'll push the furthest
my reluctance to lift the curtain
My redundancy in spilling refusal
sooner empty than truly certain
My abundance of energy
filling the room
I bask in knowledge
Honoring the right to never learn it

And so I paint
I drape the walls and fall into
the sordid echoes,
calling through the mist.
Simple soothing bruising lips
They whistle darkness
move your hips
I'll leave a mark

I'm through with this.

We love to say some things over and over
that they seem true and correct
We believe them to be fact
"You complete me"
"You are my all in all"
"I can't live with out you"
A reminder that there is a part of us living on more than food
That grows accustomed to particular habits and likings

I am my body, mind, soul and spirit
You are like me
You are a body that feeds
A mind that thinks
A soul that yearns for life
A spirit that surrounds the whole of you
Inside and out

As a child you and I were taught to bath to keep clean
To eat food to growth strong
To sleep, take a break and restart
All for the part of us to groom and grow
The body

As a teenager you and I were taught to dream for our future
To yearn for more to come
To be resilient to achieve more than what we are
To use our felt heart to connect to more in life and live to the fullest
All for the part of us to groom and grow
The soul

As youth we search for more
A purpose to define us, give us and let us understand our identity
A life long journey
A part of us that we only wish we started grooming and growing sooner, the one most people forget to carter to and acknowledge
Yet the body and mind will feed the soul, the soul the spirit and the spirit the body
A union that no man can separate

Your spirit will complete you
More than any fellow man, dream or gain will ever
A thirst only you can feel
Only you can describe
Don't let ignorance keep you away,

We can be complete; body, mind, soul and spirit.

Loneliness wanted to take my life.
And night after night I slept in coffins
which carried my empty soul.

But like a gentle spring breeze
have you quenched evil winter dreams.

Withered leaves became green,
bad turned into good,
tenderness penetrated my pores.

I've reached the highest goal
and find no fear in me.

Death can take me now,
but the soul
belongs to the dearest
who sleeps with me.

i know we all have a purpose
in this world
i know that you have to have darkness
in order to have light
but i’ve been in the dark for so long
if there’s one thing
i want to know
it’s if this suffering
will be worth it
because a life without meaning
isn’t what i’m living for