Maybe I am not truly alive. The darkness consumes me. I’m surrounded by the black abyss of space. I cannot breathe; however, I am not drowning. Is this Purgatory? I have no memories of my past life, if I have one. Floating around gives me a feeling of hope and willpower - if only I had the energy to use it.

So much noise.
Pinging your ear drums like pellets.
Ricocheting off of every head.
I didn't think there was a purgatory.

/Booooooooooop/
Leave my dreams at once

Stop and start
A beating heart
Boil my blood
Burn my skin
Free my ashes
Hellfire within

This dead soul consumed
By a vengeful world
No heaven or hell
Eternal purgatory
Living cost
So much more
Than death

Strike fear
Into them
Make them good
Because they fear
Retribution
Judgement will come
Did you pay your dues?

Sins wrapped in shadows
The darkness within
Slips out the cracks
Turning innocence out
Guilty pleasures
Everyday trangressions
Just one more
The promise of tomorrow
Be redeemed
Pray to be forgiven

False perfection
Surface beauty
A shining beacon
Blinding saintliness
A matyr to the cause
By living purely
Give not onto temptation

I stepped off the bus
   never the same one.
always a different point of view

Every time I walked of
                   the step..
Wandering
              glancing,
looking at the afterimage
of the people wandering on.

Cracked pavements breaking the backs
of others sleeping rough. every step
a story and every movement,
each a motion in the wrong direction.

I always gave a moment to them
sad starts or static endings....
purgatory of morality kept in-between.

[Part 1]

So far behind
Though it seems I lead the pack
My heart does beat
My lungs, they breathe right back

I am alive.

Sometimes it is as if
Death has arrived at my door
Progress has come to a halt
My dreams deprived of anything more

Am I alive?

I am become a stagnant pond
Where wind will howl not,
nor warmth bid his welcome---
The cold, it chills the marrow of my bones

Am I dead?

From my purgatorial porch, I perch to view the news,
My peers about me move along with time
Whilst I float in drollery, prentending to flow the same---
Apparently convincingly so

I cannot be dead.

Mind and muscle try, but do not succeed
There is no regress,
But they dig a deep ditch,
Down in which I have made my mess---

I am stuck.

[Part 2]

Each success is one step ahead
Each failure, three lessons to learn
Overcoming mistakes should put them to bed
And the next two steps are two steps earned

I can get out!

Eyes see forward, not behind
Let the brain leave the bad in the back of its mind
So then it may focus on what it has gained
The next few steps are the few that remain

I am alive!

[Part 3]**

So far behind
Though it seems I've led the pack
I need not worry
To accept the gruesome facts

I will make it!

I am not standing water
Nor am I stuck between life and death
I am alive, *******,
Hear me take a breath!

I just have to snap out of it and get back to walking.