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Hannah 5h
I reach up and out,
Nothing.
Is there something that is darker than black?
Such a color that describes darkness at its' core?
Nothing.
I panic.
I cannot breathe.
I feel claustrophobic but nothing is close to me.
I reach out grabbing and clawing at nothing.
Wait there is something,
My fear widens because I cannot see.
What am I touching?
It is coming close.
I cannot grab it or push it.
It is hard and smooth but yet it is nothing.
It comes closer now above and below me.
No longer floating in nothing but standing on something,
Something that is nothing.
I gasp for air.
Now in front and behind me,
Above and below me,
It is squeezing me now.
Forming me into shape.
How can nothing force me to be something?
Forming me.
Molding me.
Cannot breathe,
Cannot escape,
Cannot think,
Can only scream into,
The Nothingness.
This is from my perspective of the anxiety I have dealt with throughout my life.
anon 5h
for the past few years
this girl
has been missing

her name is elizabeth
or abigail
or judy
or jane
or laura
or julie
or becca
or sasheer
or any other girl
i don't know

i couldn't tell you her name

her last known location
was here
or there
or wandering around a target
not knowing where to go
or who to trust

she's ten
or twenty
or sixteen
or maybe she doesn't know

she's been out of it
for so long
she couldn't tell you
who she is
or where she's from

all she knows
is that she's alone
and afraid

but she doesn't know who took her

she knows
that she let go
of herself
for a moment
a split second

and now
she's gone
Hannah 5h
Racing,
Constant thunder in my chest,
How can you know before I,
That this other heart can have this much control over us...
annette 6h
it is a collection of thoughts
the spilling of my guts
ink stains made from my blood
paper made from my skin
3 holes on each sheet made with my teeth
bound together with my hair

a complete notebook made from scratch

this is a collection of my thoughts
made so personally

everything i am
written in poetic language

it is me
It's sort of funny in the saddest way.
To find pieces of myself in a man that was never really a part of my life at all.
I wish I knew you well enough to have memories other than playing trivia at a table by the bar watching you stay well past last call.
Fighting with your wife over who would drive home.
Spending every other weekend you had with me staring at the bottom of empty bottles.
And slurring "I love you's" like I might believe them.
Isn't it all I ever wanted?
To be loved by you?
And does anything ever really change?
Can people really change?
You were sober for 5 years after you almost lost your life.
But now I keep waking up to drunk text messages.
Parallel to your drunken confessions in the middle of the night while six year old me tried to comfort you.
Biting my tongue and staring at the cieling fan so I wouldn't cry.
I don't have to hide the tears anymore because you're in another city and I won't ever tell you how bad you hurt me.
But Dad I keep letting men hurt me who tell me they love me at 2 am and I wish I didn't feel like it's because of you.
I don't know if this is poetry at all
We were two hearts torn
by the wedge of reason.
We could no longer deny
the fire-and-gasoline effect
on our flammible souls -
cursed by the pride
of our maturing minds.
No longer blinded by infatuation
(desperation would rather be blind)

You believed the older folk
and who was I to pilfer?
Perhaps, I believed them, too.
The storms of our souls still rage -
afflicted by the unrelenting -isms.
My ego says that I can save you,
Survival tells me to mind my own,
Depression tells me your better off
And holds me accountable
for your being alone.
A poetic perception of long lost love
Javanne 7h
I sit in a car
I am aimless and
Careless with my words
But I still say them with some type of
Conviction

It feels like the stretch of road
Ahead of us is too short
Because I want you to
Understand

"I don't think I can stop
Yearning" I say
I convulse in my mind
Images of different takes
of life flash
But in each one
You are in them

Like rays of light
breaking through clouds
You are there
To tell me it's okay

But our journey has ended
And I open the passenger door
Feeling dissatisfied
In this horror called life

I walk to my door
Feeling neither free or heavy
But confused
Because I know that
Loneliness is waiting
To embrace me
And I want it
Because I know
When I die

One of those flashes
Where I sit in that car
With you
Is when I'll truly find
Happiness
If you wanna hear me read it: https://vocaroo.com/i/s0VcPQLFdLrO
When I left
For town with another
Monk
You said jokingly
Be careful
Where you scatter
Them...
I didn’t
Know if it is my legs
Or my turquoise jewelry.
Silly lover.
Loving yeshe
As we express our love
To eachother
Pleasuring
And loving
Eachother
I can see
In moon light
The outline
Your angular face
Gentle like lord Buddha.
In the summer night
Two lovers
a senior Lama
And a common girl
Couple
And have their ways
With each other
Under the summer Dipper.
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