I think I like pictures
Because they’re like dreams
Of this perfect world
Of more than it seems

You can sense the emotion
The intangible rapture
When they saw something beautiful
That they needed to capture

The other day
I thought to myself
Maybe I am over you
Maybe I am holding on
To feelings that are no longer
Growing on their own

Today
I saw a picture
Of you and a woman
More well-known
Than you could ever dream of being

A week from now
She won't remember you
What you look like
What your voice sounds like
And she doesn't realize
Just how lucky she was
To even learn that today

In a few months
I will see you again
And I can do nothing
But hope
That you will touch me
In a way
That you will never touch her

I look back on these pictures
Only a memory
That reveals the true feelings captured inside of a camera lens
Reflecting places, people, and things
Where I've gone, What I've seen, Who I've been with
When I see those pictures,
my wistful memory tells me how I was so happy
Now I just sit here trying to create better, and happier memories
But it doesn't seem to work anymore
I try too hard and think too much
Just for a memory
To be a bust
All I do is
Hope that one day
Things will lighten up and be true
So I can look at more pictures again
And realize those feelings never left after all

There are so many memories
That are stuck in my mind
Some that bring tears
And remind me that I'm just fine
However, no matter how attached or not
You are to these memories
They will always come back to you
To haunt the rest of your life

these are my apologetic heartbeats
i am sorry but i will be late
because my arteries are running behind
and you will get there before me
but please don’t take it to heart
(that’s a pun
to lighten the mood)

nothing but the metaphorical truth
because i speak better in images
and pretty thoughts
and objects replacing feelings
so i can actually hold them
touch them
prove their existence

i think i’ll take this tightening in my chest
and turn it into a rubber band
stretch it between my two hands
and snap it
releasing the tension

i think i’ll take this weakness in my stomach
and turn it into a butterfly
which is pretty generic
but i want it to fly away

i think i’ll take this somewhat guilty weight
and turn it into a stone
grey and lifeless
and pointless
and i will drop it into the water
see the ripples spreading outwards
and touch them for good luck
tasting the tips of my fingers
to alleviate the cold

i think i’ll take this weird emptiness
and turn it into a poem
so i can raise the words up and run my fingers
through the letters
so i can print it and frame it
and smash the glass
and take the blood
and stain the paper
and crumple it up
and throw it down
to prove that it exists

and see if
when i look down at myself
the words are there
the glass is there
the blood is there
the lines are there
and i have been thrown onto the ground

these are my apologetic heartbeats
saying
sorry
but you cannot make us concrete
until you write us down
are you happy now?

Bitter.
Enfold me in it.
Steel body and diamond crusted ears
So I can feel no pain
And hear no outer influences.

   Hard.
   Turn me into stone.
   Infuse me, weld my cracks
   From a past never to be renewed
   And too stoic to ever feel another's warmth.

      Bold.
      Let myself take whomever I want
      Whenever I want
      Without consequence of being
      Anything but concrete.

         I'll be the manifestation of a developing polaroid
         Only to be swayed and
         Persuaded to come into focus
         By the tickle of murmured wind
         And golden embers of light.

             Black and white
             Color
             Negative
             Sepia­
             I could be it all.

All these kids got
Sweet ***-pics
Of them around campus
After graduation
And all I’ve got
Is this lame *** pic
With me and three double chins.