I saw them decorating the whole place,
& decorating me;
    the thing to be sold,
    the burden which since my birth they did hold,
     the burden from which today they will get free...

I saw them giving me so many blessings,
& also listened to their relaxed breathings,
   Cause their biggest tension is soon going to end,
In my whole life after those seven rounds I found them most relaxed...

I saw them giving my hands in the hands of a boy, to me a stranger,
I wonder are they the same who kept me away from boys, from that lover?

I saw them packing in my bag
so much of gold & insurance paper of the new dowry's car,
   but they forget my love, my guitar,
I saw people asking them -
       "Does she know cooking?
     Is she good at house holding?"
But nobody bothered to ask,
      Was I still breathing???

& at last tearing they took me to a car,
& told me,
"Take care of your new family,
            & your husband"
the one who has got a new servant!!!
As I looked in the car I saw them smiling cruelly,
& as I looked back,
I saw them smiling,
& those momentary crocodile's tears ending,
I saw them relaxed & calm ,
Having got freedom of the biggest burden & a very big duty...

There is a girl,
She is scared of love
She doesn't want to be cared about because she is afraid of losing someone she loves.
So she is scared to caring or loving someone.
There is a girl,
Who is afraid to be blind
She doesn't want to miss out on all the pretty sights she could see.
So she is scared to not see the world in all it's glory.
The first girl falls in love and gets married,
But her husband cheates on her.
The second girl loves to star gaze,
But she is just dreaming when she wakes up she is blind.

I wish I could navigate the minefield of my mind
Its corners dark and undefined.
One step too far, it all explodes
It explodes, my being erodes.
I walk through slowly with a hopeful face
Behind me, anxiety soon gives chase.

Anxiety stabs me, sanity's scorcher
And as I weep, I'm ****** to self torture.
Cut in the heart by worries future to past
I'm paralyzed to think this day is my last.
I break the mirror, shouting at my appearance
Meandering in camouflage is my only clearance.

I'm comforted by brief moments of peace
But it's back to the minefield as those cease.
I sit and smile as I amputate
In this personal hell I create.
And I shudder to think of an eternity bound
To this forsaken battleground.

Living one day
On my own zone
Never finding my own way
Ending on my own side everyday

      Believe me,
      You'll never know what is like to
be My own menace and
      Erasing my own pace

Ending on my own side everyday
Never finding my own way
On my own zone
Living one day by one day
Alone⬆

The feeling of being pixelated,
of being weightless and nothing.
Swimming in the air,
and watching sober friends
waiting down there.
It's like wading through
keyboard keys.
Square. Unorthodox.
Choking on letter x's,
using them to spell
'help me' in sign
language- you
don't speak it.
Blinking in morse code
at your teacher, tugging down
sleeves. Hiding yourself from
your reflection- Make it think of
you as a child; untouched. unchanged;
pure.
I swear I'm still me.
I'm paper soft and tearable.
I swear I'm fine.
Toes curling under hardened shoes,
blisters on your big toe.
It throbs under the pressure.
Grounding you.