Dear Chloe,
‎I don't know if I ever felt truly loved before you.
‎Every love I've ever has felt like a performance, hiding the parts of myself that felt undesirable so others could love me.
Who knew a sweet little rat would be the one to really see me.
‎You came from ruin like me. our lives were cowering from the predators all around us, it was looking over your shoulder and making yourself as small as possible for fear of being the next victim.
‎
So ‎when you first crawled into my sweater and fell asleep to the sound of my heart beating I knew I would never let you go. That I had to keep living so the metronome of my heart could always be your lullaby.
You will never know how you saved me.

Sometimes I wonder what you must think of me. We will always have a language divide, what do you think of my tears? The big wet drops that fall from my eyes and onto your head as my body trembles and I hold you so tight.
Do you get scared for me when I hiccup like I do you?
When I feel you for bumps and lumps do you know I do it out of love?

You have grown so much, you have gone from a shy child hiding behind her mother to loud and proud. You're not afraid to yell or fight even with those closest to you, asking for love has always been easy. There's so much I have learned from you .

You make me whole. You make my days so much brighter. So when I found the blood the month of your first birthday everything went dark. The shadows you had evaporated in the back of my brain crept through my body and froze my soul.

I rushed you to the vet to be poked and prodded. For two weeks after I spoiled you and gave you medicine, I swear you thought it was poison until surgery.
I remember waiting for the call, my leg bouncing for six hours while I stared at my screen like some twisted Schrodinger's box where you were both alive and dead on the operating table.

I finally let myself cry for the first time in weeks when I was told I could take you home.

That night I had a nightmare your incision opened up and guts came tumbling out into my hand. So when I woke and saw you chewed it part way open I ran you back to the vet. They put you back together and I dedicated all my time to you. I slept every night for a  week with my hands in your cage holding you. And the other two with you asleep on my pillow.

I know you'll never understand this letter  I hope that you know just how much I love you. I don't know how I'll ever cope with the shortness of your life but I will make sure everyday you feel loved. Though your light burns bright as fast I will never forget the love you have showed me.

di rumahku
pemandanganku
semuanya kamu

di teleponku
pendengaranku
tentang kamu

pengerat berlari
kamu sendiri
pengerat pergi
kamu tidak cari

setelah kami ini
ada lagi
setelah kami pergi
suaramu meninggi

8 pagi sampai 5 petang
posisimu selalu terlentang
dibelai-belai penuh kasih sayang
bila telat jam makan kau mengerang


sembari menonton sinetron di TV
sembari menghitung sisa uang jajan kemarin
sembari memakan indomie
ketika pulang dini hari
semuanya, kau jadi saksi

The cat:
A wonderful creature.
She creates a throne
Wherever she lies.
She stares at you
Through her crystal eyes.

She sleeps all day
Without remorse.
She lives to eat,
Not eating to live,
Of course.

A loyal creature,
She follows you around.
Her ears perk up
At every little sound.

Cats have dreams, or so it seems
Their paws move like Mike Andretti
Chase laser beams on carpet seams,
Or dangling strings of spaghetti
Perhaps they recall catching some small
prey on the ancient Serengeti
And then just doze in a treetop repose
"I'll just snooze until they pet me!"

Today, my cat died that I had for nearly six years.
When I found her dead, it brought me to tears.
Animals always bring plenty of joy.
I adopted her in September of 2012 and I named her Boy.
I named her Boy even though she was a female.
It was heartbreaking when I had to say farewell.
It wasn't until she died that I truly appreciated what a special cat that I had.
Boy and I went to Sneedville and spent the last Christmas with Mom and Dad.
She was very pretty and solid white.
She was indeed a beautiful sight.
It's very sad to know that she no longer exists.
Goodbye Boy, you were my cat and you will be missed.

As I walked down the highway, I saw a dog that had been killed by a car.
That poor animal had irresponsible owners, whoever they are.
If a person is irresponsible, they should not own any pets.
Even though it wasn't my dog, seeing it dead filled me with regret.
I felt sorry for that poor dog and angry because of the owner's irresponsibility.
The dog was allowed to walk down the highway, the owner is to blame entirely.
Because of the irresponsible owner, that unfortunate dog's fate was sealed.
If that dog would've had a better owner, the dog wouldn't have gotten killed.
If you own any pets, please take good care of them.
Because if you don't, they might die and it will be grim.

Why do I follow you like a pet?
I feel like I have a collar around my neck
You’d drag me to a cliff
You beat me with a leather whip
Why do I follow you like a pet?
Is it because I want this pain
Better than being left in the rain
Or Is it because I’m just another man
Too distracted by your beauty to give a ****
Or is it because...
Sometimes kind words slip
From your soft lips
Every time I see you I almost trip
But I’m afraid that, one day
You’ll beat me into the ground
Or leave me at a pound

My perfect small friend, you were so young.
I'll never forget all the songs that we sung.
It's true you were always in the mood for a fight,
But now that you're gone I can't hold you at night.

Did you know that you stuck out your tongue when you slept?
Did you know that no one was safe were you crept?
Or that when you were mad, your jaw would drop down?
That you were the angriest darling around?

When you were too lazy and tired to care,
You'd finally allow me to play with your hair.
And you'd stretch on the bed, and glare at me,
With those young, tired eyes, as green as the sea.

I can't count the tears I've cried all this week,
At the thought of your fingers dug into my cheek.
And here's what I wonder if you'd approve of, my friend:
I will not fall in love, not ever again.