i am a light sleeper                                              
    who wakes before my alarm
but  i have my own personal Witching Hour
a gape                                                    
    when­ I am utterly unguarded      
        and vulnerable  to serpent enemies

it's then that they broach and whisper me suggestion
it's then that i whimper like an abused and receptive whelp
then that i devolve into a manipulatable child of therapy
it's then that weights are stacked upon my chest      
    and my breaths become short  pinned  and pained

even with my wife and child to my side                            
they patiently poison me  with measured pipette drops
run them down a string like spittle
bitter mushroom down the back of my throat                  
and dreams warp toxic like cellophane near a fire
and what visions !
warrens of vivid insecurities as loved ones                        
strip their gloves  and get to work ripping out the pegs
with twisted mocks  tocking noggins              
         and flails of humiliation oiling apart
               the mechanism of my meaning

they look at their watches   time is up
they leave with their instruments      
make idle chit-chat on their way out
lock the front door with the spare key
and place the key back under the mat

Awake into the night
Paralysed before sleep took hold
Suffocated by my worries
As some stranger had foretold
Awake into the night
I dreamt of coffins and stars
Hopeful for a soft future
One that died out young
Awake into the night
I felt him lingering near
Tickling my occipital lobe
Reminding me for the first time, ever
I'm never really alone

she is inescapable
fringe coefficient
a strange perfume tonight
lips to the phone
he took her on a laptronica trip
bitters and Absolut and pistachio
listening to the frightful sections of an unused movie score
and playing a new game
—studies in paralysis
no sympathy, no violins
just musette and drums
just an avalanche of images
frame-by-frame

Choking on fears.
Fighting for oxygen.
Bringing my eyes
all in view once never seen.
My voice has no power
Questionable feelings, no power to scream.
The need to breathe
Nothing more than
product of a dream.
Scratches running down my arm
Numbing my body.
Silhhouette of the beast
Disturbing my peace
Trying to consume my soul
Unobtainable in solace
Reality repeats, all is lawless
I am motionless in
an unstable transition.
The world of the in between
The dead and the living.
Vulnerable in astral world
Connection to ancestors in deep sleep
The past or the future of possibilities.
My essence roams freely.
Disconnection from all of me.
I can't feel you there.
Where are you?!

Explaining the feeling
Of feeling frozen
Is like explaining to a child
Why people hurt
There is no delicate way
To describe the intensity
The entrapment

Words trapped in my throat
My body wrapped in invisible rope
As though a man at each side
Pulls the rope tighter
And tighter

You want me to explain?
Honey, I can’t explain
Something I also don’t know