writing turns pain into poetry.
something dark, cold and dreadful into beauty.
etched into the universe forever.

but,

when i'm happy,
when life is blissful,
when the rain feels euphoric
i become at a loss for words..
i go blank
the feeling of felicity is fleeting.
and is then forgotten.

life goes back to being blank and empty,
and the beauty of the moment that once existed,
is lost forever.

why do i bear my sadness like armour.
and let the happiness slip through my fingers.

Most girls think of boy bands.
Most girls think of heart throbbs
But they are shallow
I am not like Most girls
My crush was not with a throbbed
Or a boy singer
But with a doctor
A Most unusual
Was there something wrong with
Me
At the f**king time
I will never know.
I am not like Most girls

Oh, cut me loose from these chains of love,
My mind is numb and my heart is broken,
To you I am a stranger, to me you are the only love of my life,
The girl of my dream in my dreams,
You have become my daily routine, my dose,
I'll  let my mind be consumed by what it desires the most,
Have I ever crossed your mind?
Oh, cut me loose from these chains of love.

Why is it always me,
Enduring-Crying-Fearing-Hearing,
But never,
Endured-Cried for-Feared-Heared,
Yes it definitely hurts,
I am never the first,
Invisible like a particle of dust.

Hope doesn't always promise a return, Sometimes it's enough to hold your hand
For just a little while
Until the ache softens
Until your smile returns without guilt
Untill your heart feels light
Even whet it's alone.

And when the world feels heavy,
And silence grows too loud,
Remember hope's quiet hand
Is never far
It stays,
Waiting patiently
To lead you home.

I don't write when iam happy
Joy makes me dance,not think
It fills my hands with flowers
Not pens.

But sadness?
She sits me down,
Open my chest,
And spills the ink.