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You're hardly there...
sketched, into the backdrop
of my convalescence,
in hematite brush strokes.
Not a flicker, of breath
warms the cold curve, of my cheek,
but I feel you cup it, anyway.

My own hand,
bloodless, bleached
collapses, in pain.
Fatigued, it creeps,
across the coverlet
in a wraithlike half dose,
to seek you, sleepily
and pull you, across the void.
To capture you, by the mouth,
and bring you, like a magnet,
into another dimension.
Lips, press down, as if stitched;

the Cupid's bow,
folds itself, into the lower lip,
and sutures shut.
It forms a thin veil, of suppression,
and secrets.

Stay with me...
stay with me, a while...
stay with me, until I fall

...a...

...sleep, overtakes me.
I'm too weak, to wrestle with it,
and sink, below its dusky tides.
Darkly, they swallow me.
I float, in an indigestible stupor;

caustic waves, ripping away
at whatever remains,
of me:
half-consumed,
in the raging belly,
of the beast.

Still... the melted glaciers, of my eyes
seek you, above the insouciant turn,
of melancholy tides.

I wish to tangle myself,
all around you
to knot about you, composed,
comprised, in looping ties
like ropes... that only bite,
into the fruit, of your skin
if you draw me around you, tightly.  

And though, there's naught,
but an echo, of you,
above the seismic waves,
of pain

That same thought, rises
A shallow cry,
but it rips, through my soul
with the sudden release
of an arrow, leaving
the taut, aching pull,
of its bowstring.

Stay with me...

stay with me, til night, falls...
hold me, til the dawn, breaks...
love me,til our worlds,
collapse...

and, stay......
stay with me.
It's rotten work
It is for me
If it's me

It's rotten work
To get up in the morning
To keep breathing

It's rotten work
To make coffee
And drink water

It's rotten work
To eat when I'm not hungry
And get dressed every day

It's rotten work
It is to me
If it's me

It's rotten work
To go to work
To pay my bills

It's rotten work
To fake normalcy
And mask whatever the hell this is

It's rotten work
To not just sleep
Sleep and sleep and sleep

It's rotten work
It is for me
If it's me

It's rotten work
To drive each day
And not off the highway

It's rotten work
To be alive
And keep caring for myself–or trying to

It's rotten work
Because all I want to do
Is not talk, not eat, not drink

Just...sleep.
I'm getting bad again. Maybe I haven't been okay in a long time, I've just been hiding it. Either way, I am here again and I guess I forgot that it's rotten work to keep on living when all I want to do is sleep.
Why won’t you stop
shut up,
or even die?
Why must you speak
in words just as cruel,
just as useless
as the old path I swore to leave?
Oh God
**** my hand,
**** my mind,
or please...
**** my pen.
I’ve thrown you a thousand times,
but like a phoenix
you always return,
refusing to burn,
refusing to die.
I’m done with you, Pen.
Your ink is endless pain.
No more of you
in my realm.
We’re finished.
Today.
My pen looked at me with a snaky eye,
and whispered
I only speak
because you never could.
Abdulla Aug 4
The baby sea turtle gets abandoned
Abandoned by its parents
The baby sea turtle needs their mother
1 in 10,000

Oh, 1 in 10,000 live to adulthood
That 1 in 10,000
Moves on to abandon their children
Ironic, isn’t it?

How parents can forget the struggle
Faced in their very own childhood
How the children grow up to be
Just like the horrors they swore to avoid

Yes, I feel bad for the baby sea turtles
But it’s their culture—
Their lives and the expectations

But to feel for the turtles is to feel for you
Your parents didn’t abandon you

Oh no, sweetie, worse—
Your parents isolated you
Mistreated you

And to feel for the turtles is to feel for you
Feel for the life you didn’t choose

It’s not the culture
That causes the forced isolation
It’s the cold hearts and the failed system

Oh, who is the sea turtle?
I’m not sure
But to feel for the turtles is to feel for you
Even when there is nothing to do
Ariannah Aug 3
Wanna know something that hurts ?
It burns me down to the core,
It keeps me awake at night...
It's... a thing I never thought I'd live to hear.
Though.... I think I should've seen it coming..
I mean.. all the signs were there..
I should've expected it..
For ***** sake..  I even thought about it.
It sounds so different when you say it though...
It hurts as much as a twisted knife right in my heart..



I always thought we were inseparable
You know, like the moon and the stars?
Never one without the other..
But now the darkness of the night is too dark for them to shine as bright as they once did..
I always thought you were the love my life, and I was yours too,
Though I'm not so sure about that anymore..
Not because I don't love you, or because I want to leave
You hurt me more than anyone else ever did
So yeah, maybe I don't have a reason to stay
But I feel like, in my heart, I don't want to give this love away..



But... you wanna know something that hurts.. ?
It hurts me more that I don't even know how to put it into words...
You said something.. I never wanted to hear
But the fact that it's true... it just.. makes me wish I was not even here
I want to be somewhere else, somewhere in peace..
Somewhere where I don't have to deal with all this.



But I can't, because I'm here
All thoughts inside my head now circling in a sphere
Voices I can't help since they're the only thing I can perceive.
They hurt me, you know?
They won't ever leave me alone..
But what's worse is what they keep saying
Because it's repeated,
And it makes me cry everytime..
I don't even know how I'm supposed to look in your eye
Now that I how you truly feel about me..
That for you, the spark we had is gone..
That you don't even know how to love me anymore..



Honestly.. what you keep saying
Rises more questions than just explains
But that's not even what's important now,
Because what matters..
Is that it hurts.
It hurts to see that the person you love managed to hurt you with just these words...
eliana Aug 3
No tears can explain
No words can describe
The pain that is killing
Deep inside..
I know truth hurts
But it even hurts twice
When you try to comfort
Yourself with lies..
i just got notifications for tryouts  for my school right now, and it really hurt my heart. Knowing the dates and just that i KNOW my friends are all going and im just here. I love being active and it just hurts so much. nobody really understands how much it hurts, i cant even explain it.
eliana Aug 3
I want to feel something
Not just the blade upon my arm
I want to love someone
That won’t do me any harm
I don't want to cry anymore
I want more than just my blood on the floor
I want to know more
Than just my tears
I want to reach for something
Not just run from my fears
I want to feel like I’m enough
Am I enough?
I want to enjoy life with no strings attached
I don't want to dread being attacked
I don't want to feel alone anymore
I want to know what I’m living for
I want to end it all
But I’m still scared to fall
I don't want anymore scars
I’m not asking for the stars
I want to be worth anything
I want death to stop calling
I want to be loved
I want to rise above
This pain
I want the lies to stop replaying
I want to stop cutting
I don't want to find myself in the mirror
I want the truth to become clearer
I want to eat and not force myself to throw up
I don't want to grow up
I want to stop skipping meals
I never want anyone to know how it feels
I want him to come back
I want him to leave
I want to be on track
I want to believe
There is anything good about me
I want to stop feeling this self pity
But I’m done
I want to run
Am I good enough?
Am I worthy?
The last word was supposed to be "No" But i removed it because im not sure. My mind tells me no but i feel yes if that makes sense.
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