The claps
Explode inside my ears, thundering blanks of noise
The cheers and chatter
Whispers
Mutters
Rush into my ears like seawater, and I can't help but drown...
Static.
Static everywhere, wires zinging and zapping,
Skewer my brain and blend it into froth
Pouring out of my eyes as I squeeze them shut.
And as the frost rushes through my spine, into my lungs,
Curling its claws around my throat,
My screams for silence are just that.

This morning, I woke up at 4 a.m., sweating. I’d had a bad dream. I was in a car, speeding downhill, completely out of control. It was one of those steep, winding roads that twists sharply as it descends, each turn pulling me further into chaos. I couldn’t stop it. I think the dream reflects how I’ve been feeling about the world lately—like everything is spiraling out of control.
The world feels mad. It’s as if everything that once brought me peace and calm is on the verge of being wiped away. They don’t like people like me—fluid, free spirits. I don’t understand why it’s so hard for some to accept that there’s a world beyond what they know, just as I can understand their world. What’s so threatening about something different?
I feel fragile, vulnerable. I’m overwhelmed by what I hear every day—the noise, the chaos, the uncertainty. Am I overreacting, or am I sensing the darkness that’s about to unfold?

I’m so tired.
But I need to be better.
If I am not,
What is the point of doing?

Overwhelming emotions buried deep within
With just one tap, it gets shaken, resurfacing once more
Confidence I've built, yet to grow
Crumbles down
Like sandcastles drowned by the tide's flow.

noise
the piercing screams of little children
"no no no!"
i dont want a shot
screaming crying help
but nothing shows
trying to stop the noise from
consuming you as it creeps in
with tendrils made of
every
          little
                  noise
that you have ever or will ever make
but now
you're silent
as you war in your head
clutching your knees wishing you
couldn't hear plugging your ears its too much
its too much its too much its too much
its so hard to breath or move or do anything at all
because everything makes a sound and theres already
                                             plenty
                                              much
       ­                                         of
                                               that

you said “maybe
if you
          let it out
a little
         more
you wouldn’t
       explode.”

But
        you
                don’t
understand.
    ­            I
                    cannot
      let it out
                  slowly
like air from a
                       balloon.

all too much it’s all too much it’s always too much it’s too much too much too much too much too much too too too too too too t