I failed
I failed
I failed.
I tried so hard and yet I failed.
I did everything I was supposed to, and yet I failed.
Now, it didn't matter much.
I honestly don't really care.
But it opens a gateway for all the thoughts
that I continuously fail to lock up.
The thoughts.
The thoughts.
Those awful thoughts.
Suddenly I'm crashed into by waves of feeling everything
and then when it subdues, nothing.
EVERYTHING
nothing
EVERYTHING
nothing
EVERYTHING
I am
nothing.
Those thoughts feed off my self-doubt and disappointment,
like a parasite.
I can't get them out.
I can't get them out.
God, they're so loud.
STOP
STOP
STOP
STOP
Shut up.
Just shut up.
Just stop thinking
Just shut your mind up
STOP
STOP
STOP
STOP
Don't cry,
no don't cry.
If you cry, they'll know,
and then,
"Why are you crying?
You have no reason to be sad.
or
anxious
or
depressed
or
possibly even
******* insane.
No, no reason.
No reason whatsoever.
So shut up,
don't cry,
Your life is great.
You have great friends,
(Do I?)
You have great parents,
(Do I?)
You're healthy,
(Am I?)
You're alive,
(Am I?)
Nobody died."
(Had I?)
(I'm dead.)
I'm
dying
dying
dying
Oh god, **** me please
Please I can't do
it on my
own
please
please
please.
It hurts so much,
these waves of everything
and nothing
over and over
and over and over
and over ---
and nothing works.
My brain doesn't work.
Make it stop.
Make it stop.
Make it stop
Stop
Stop
Stop
Stop
Stop.
Please.
"My body hurts, it hurts so much, when you're not here, can't feel you're touch"
- So Much, Cavetown
