tonight i am plagued
with self doubt
and anxiety

i want to exist
quietly
gently
for you

with you

but love's become
an impossibility

life's become
an impossibility

because of me.

because of me.

a thousand thoughts would have been saved for the day it would be needed most

if you just looked up and stare at the vast heavens of complete bliss

and let the sky worry about being blue

Incineration of the mind,
Quenching the white coals
Of the overheated fuel.

Gazing into this furnace,
Which radiates more
Than the distant sun.

Inflammation on touch,
Festering blisters crowd
My already damaged hand.

Before contact is made,
The hand will reel away.
Only the foolish dive in,
Because the water
Is not fine.

trapped
inside of this box,
sitting on a deck,
and surrounded with thorns and snags.
white, sharp spikes.
a single move, would bleed my skin,
leaving bloodpools and red stains.
wall made of glass,
creating infinite illusions,
deceiving to the eyes
trapped, looking for demise,
screaming till the mirror starts to crack,
the same image appear,
within the new pieces.

words keep on repeating
their echo fails to leave
this is the frequency
my thoughts are on,
thoughts please stop.

Do you know that feeling?

That feeling where your soul feels rotten

Whence a storm laid, now lays barren a silence

So quiet and empty that nothingness seems to spark a light


Your body lays so still,

You mind remains unfilled

With thoughts of happiness and hope.

But instead infected with reality and doses of truth

Inferiority seeking to turnover

Into superiority - attempts to become fail and reveals

A wolf in sheep’s clothing

Filing its fangs to a bite never opening but always closing.


Do you know that feeling?

Of pain and insanity?

Overthinking, reacting, turning vanity into insecurity.

Fearing that first step, to face your demons hidden as angels

valiantly.

I'm a overthinker.
I over think every possible way for everything.
Same goes for when I love someone.
I over think every possible way
in the worst scenarios
why I shouldn't be with them.
Because I'm scared of getting hurt.
But even after all that
I have chosen you
then imagine how much I love you
that no matter how much I over think
every situation seems stupid
knowing that in the end
I'll have you by my side