every sunday
every gloomy day
I'd go to your home
but you're always not there.

but a book
that you gave
just made my lotus
bloom in a different way.

so I keep
thinking that
you're running
I keep thinking
that you're flying,
but the truth is
you're lying
and you're laying
in your bed
with the flowers
that she gave
and the doorbell ring
is just a song
that you listen
and forget.

so I drove
down to town
to the supermarket
and asked
'where can I find the aisle for happiness'
they said
'I don't think we have that here,
or anywhere else',
that's right
it never existed
in my life
and in my melody.

I sit on my bed
And across from me
Peering back
Was Cupid

He giggled
And wigged his bow
While I
Had one hand on my phone
And another on his shot arrow
That pierced
My side
Many moons ago

He looked on
As my bed began
To soak red
And stared in awe
While I continued to
Tug on this
****** arrow

It doesn't move
I can feel it's
Spearhead inch
Even further
Pulling sinew and flesh
With it

I beg and plead with him
To take it out
And that I should've heeded his warnings
That longing for the impossible
Was going to lead to my
Downward spiral of wanting
Love from Aphrodite in corporeal form
But the longing was much to great
Surely he too understood this

But he
Bites his thumb at me
And continues to giggle
And fiddle with
Another of his arrows

I grow dizzy
And cold
But this arrow burns hot
Like the Caribbean sun
With an inferno scorching my lungs

A scream escapes me
And Cupid claps
Before he takes aim
And pretends to
Shoot
another of his arrows
Through my phone

I feel another pang in my chest
Knowing this gesture
all to well
For I deserve this torture
Because I
Can't let go
Of Aphrodite in corporeal form

There you are, three steps away from me
There our eyes met slowly in the middle
I hardly noticed your presence minutes ago
I’d turn away as if I never intended to do this

There you are, three steps away from me,
Denying I felt something when we were in the room
I sat at the corner of this crowded place
You came in as if something has to bloom.

There you are, three steps away from me
We’ve been in this side before, lost in crowds,
The only difference a year and eight months from now is...
I was once the one beside you.

There you are, three steps away from me.
There I’d find you in a short long distance,
It’s hard to walk there at your place,
I’d rather run miles away from that smile I used to know

There you are, three steps away from me...
I am seeing an invisible wall
You’re painted on it
Oh hello, aren’t you the stranger I used to know?

There you are, three steps away from me,
Still can’t believe I couldn’t walk up to you.
Even just to smile and say a little hello
Even just to ask how you’ve been all this time

There you are, three steps away from me.
Can’t believe I’m writing ‘bout you
A year and eight months from now
Realizing you still mattered to me somehow.

How many seconds?
How many hours?
How many minutes?
Before you shower me and all of my insecurity.
Why do I love you so much?
I wish it'd go away
The exhilarating fire I feel when we touch
Just gives my stomach pain
Knowing we could never be in love
Breaks my heart
The little thing you do that drives me wild.
Like your smile with the slight gap in the front
Or your brown eyes that make me so gullible.
I get intoxicated with your words
They roll off your lips making me levitate, feeling untouchable  
I don't know what hurts more
Suppressing these feeling or
The fact you may not feel the same that has me torn.

Perhaps I was too much of a coward,
to not be able to express my feelings
to you, whom I loved.

Perhaps if I had more courage,
I wouldn’t be where I am today,
watching you from the sidelines,
always hoping, wishing,
yet never being fulfilled.

Perhaps if you didn’t notice me,
then I wouldn’t have had false hopes,
to continue dreaming,
knowing it would never happen in reality.

Perhaps if I had never seen you
in the first place,
I wouldn’t have fallen so hard,
but it’s too late for that.

Perhaps,
I wouldn’t have liked you from the start,
if you had never existed in my life,
but why must you?

Why must you make me fawn over you,
treating every interaction with you as a treasure?

Why must you make me so head over heels,
just because your smile lights up my life?

Why must you make me,
make me unable to get over you?

Why must you make me such a mess in front of you,
blushing and unable to say a word?

Why, perhaps if I wasn’t such a coward,
I wouldn’t be here writing this.

You promise
you'll never leave

You promise
you'll wait

You promise
you'll stay
and marry me
someday

I thought those
promises
was for me

Now, I saw you
grant it to someone

I fear my own heart will be the story of my demise.
I fear, because it has been hit by an arrow,
By some young Cupid that missed his target completely.
It was meant for someone else.

Now I’ve been struck with a curse of one-sided affection,
Caused by this off-center arrow,
Shot by some show-off
Trying to impress someone else.

My heart is cursed
From a spell of one-sided love,
If it could be called that.
So just go ahead, Cupid.
Shoot an arrow at my chest,
Just remember it is you who held the bow.