I wonder whether to be ignorant than aware
Would be worse
At least I'd be somewhat happy
On this perfect sunny earth
But I was never fond of summer to begin with
So I guess it doesn't matter if I'm here or nonexistent

Another part of me is kinda happy living free
To catch up with all the people and faces I used to be
Reminds me of home
from when I was younger
Who knew I'd miss the love and laughter
Like a brother

it's back.
i'm back to my old ways.
i'm back into not loving myself.
i'm back into hating how i look.
i'm back into not understanding why i'm here.
i'm back into the old me.
i don't wanna be, but i am.
welcome.

I look at that girl,
the one in the mirror.
Is that really me?

That girl with the sore eyes.
The one with a broken smile.
What happened to her?

Then I remember all the pain.
All the nights she cried herself to sleep.
All the nights she couldn't even close her eyes.
All those days spent looking at a screen,
envying the girls that were living.

She longed for that,
for a connection.
But she feared vulnerability and honesty.

So she stayed cooped in her tower of her making.
Spending her days in deep sorrow.
Is this how to live?