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Sh Mar 20
all that's left of a friend is the wallet they bought you for your birthday, in the bittersweet smile that appears on your face when you remember that moment.

they are only in the stories you tell. Their name escapes your lips before you even realize they were there.

they are in the little moments of regret.
The dull pain between so very few heartbeats before they're gone again.

they are in shelves of shops,
in "they would like it" thoughts before you realize you can't even remember the last time you've met.

they are in the moments when you can.

But now they only exist in old photobooks, in fading memories.

In dreams, their faces side by side complete strangers.

They are everywhere.

But really, they are nowhere.
The friends we lost along the way are not always gone.
Sh Dec 2019
I used to be included, back when the group was small.
I used to play the game, back when we weren't yet as grown.

But now, I stopped arriving at the events you planned.
Bailing at last second, the brain yells it's a mistake.

The years flew by, anxiety holding me back.
Back home where I heard of the fun they had.
The lingo they developed, experiences they shared.
Inside jokes and common friends I've never even met.

It's a certain type of loneliness, the friend on the outside.
A certain type of pain when you're the only one to blame.

Stopped to be invited, what did you expect? When you never show up to the insane plans they make.

I'm so tired of being on the outside, being all alone.
Surrounded by my friends and convinced that they don't like me.
So tired of looking through the blinds, only catching glimpses of their lives.

One might say, the solution is simple.
Just get into the new-old group, bland right back inside.
But how will I accomplish it without the proper tools?
I ask you now, how do I get into the room?

Another says I communicate my problem.
Please consider that I'm a human disaster.
Don't like to talk of feelings, don't want to talk of pain.

It's so much easier to repress it all again.
I found a bunch of mostly unfinished poems in my notes so guess what I'm doing instead of studying for my final
morseismyjam Jun 2019
I never know where I am
in relation to you.

i wade through the grass mud on my shoes

You're here, and then
your eyes close off to me.

the light flits through the trees

It happens more and more often,
and yet I can't slip away.

i follow the light through thicket and clay

I think about us
so much, I can't sleep.

the light gets away and the mud is deep

You're gone when I blink.

*i sink
all good things must come to an end
Paige Nov 2017
Our love was like a rose
At first it was lovingly cared for and vibrant
But over time we both began to neglect it
It began to wilt
Our hatred caused it to wilt
And once it started to die there was no going back
It could not be renewed
Just like our love
Though the rose was still vibrant in color
And still smelled sweet
You could see how fragile it had became
As if at any moment it would break and fall apart
Like any kind of neglect would cause the petals to crumble
But although this rose-our love was nearly dead
We continued on as if everything was okay
Because we was so used to seeing the beauty
We refused to agonize the ugliness it now possessed
Are you caring for your love?....
Mark Lecuona Apr 2015
I remember the feeling
Of walking into clouds that were bleeding
That’s the kind of love I always needed
The kind that comes and goes
You followed me all over
Watering me until I grew older
But what I finally realized about you
Was a memory that never grows

If you knew me once
I’m not that way anymore
You always lived in the past
But that’s not what tomorrows for

I remember the meaning
Of chasing clouds that were leaving
That’s the kind of love I always hated
The kind that comes and goes
You made me follow you all over
Denying me because I was older
But what I finally realized about you
Was a future that never knows

If you knew me once
I’m not that way anymore
You always talked about tomorrow
But that’s not what you wanted me for
Song lyrics

— The End —