It was not me
who you loved.

It was not me who you saw,
but rather the mirror you put before me.

It was not my voice you heard,
but rather your own echo.

The mirror you held between us was fragile.
Slowly it began to crack.
Each time I held you closer,
the mirror began to disintegrate.

The more the mirror began to break,
The more you saw me.
But you cannot stand to not stare
at your own reflection.

As the mirror shattered,
so did my heart.
You picked up the chards and threw them to my skin.
For you do not see the blood coursing through my veins,
but rather the lack of yourself.

For it was not me who you loved,
but rather your
mirror.

You;
It all began with you.
Not the pills.
I'd never tasted addiction before
Only in the form of sticking my head down a toilet, or smoking 16 cigarettes.

Fall
In winter-
I'd hope you get it
Because every moment at first
Felt like an autumn day. It felt comfortable,
There was joy.

I;
Anxious me.
Anxious, obsessive-compulsive
Me. I needed you like a drug.
I was selfish, and you began to forget
Who you said you were.

Fall,
Like we began to.
But last fall, I didn't feel joy with you.
And I ask myself, late January,
Was breaking down my walls and allowing
You to understand me
Ever worth it?

We;
A perfect picture
Of two high school sweetheart drop-outs.
Of two ******, suicidal fools. And even
At the bottom layer, there were so many things
Only you knew. Know.

All
Good things end.
Or change paths before they do.
This was a twisted path, one I'd never
Dared to think of before I understood,
And I know I must be the grown up here
And say goodbye.

Fall
Will come again.
But I won't think about that for now.
I'll continue to move ahead, paying no
Mind to the ghouls around me.
When I say I plan to accomplish Something, I do it.

Down;
Turn the memories down low.
I am trying to read about my next big
Step in life. And I just wanted to make sure
You knew that you are not-nor will you
Ever be, a link in the chain again.
I'm not going to apologize.