What it feels like when I can’t breathe.
Like some thief just stole my joy,
Made me gasp for air.
It happens like this,
when I feel like no one cares.
Why am I like this?
So emotional,
Don’t they know it kills me,
to not be normal?
If I breathe in and out…
Like everyone else does.
Maybe I wouldn’t panic,
The endless teardrops barge past, my bloodshot, swollen eyes
Nothing about this is normal
But yet they criticize
Stop crying.
Just breathe.
There’s no need for tears.
It’s like being mocked has become my biggest fear.
It makes me feel insane.
And feel suffocated.
I know im not crazy,
I know im just different.
But for someone who suffers from, PTSD, there’s a big difference.
I have had my struggles and emotional trips. I have obsessive-compulsive thoughts that get stuck like a switch.
Some say it’s easy to handle
Just don’t think about it.
But once something is in my head, leaving doesn’t exist.
So if I’ve ever cared for you, you’re always in my head.
There’s no way for you to disappear even with a single med.
I just want to breathe normally.
I just want to be seen.
I just want to be okay.
I just want to be me.

The creature, it was an unhealthy being.
My contempt for that species has grown
we are of the same skin, or similar at least,
the same skin, or tone rather.
Analogous cultures.
But, reflections of my ancestors - the divine queens
this species, in particular, could never stand as such.

I had spent the latter portion of this moon-cycle trying to liberate that obese harpy of her injured soul.
Succubus, allowing lower dogs to penetrate her corrupted *****.
That demon believed that she could diminish me with her wasted ****,
but, the universe fortified my soul once, a millennia ago.

Devil!
You shall not tempt me!
I have been blessed, sanctified, under truth too long!
Your disastrous allure will succeed solely upon simple fools
I am a sentient being
sent to resist your immoral carnality
you have expressed your wicked tongue
vicious verbiage that dissected me
a betrayal to my soul
a betrayal
because of who I believed you were.
It was painful of how I was torn from you
you must be held accountable
therefore, my father shall cast fire upon you.

Your species must die!
I’ve prayed to my creators, with the intensity of my tears formulating rivers
I’ve inquired, with a rhythmic melancholic melody, “creator, why has that ***** been allowed to best me?”
I have broken myself upon those feared steps
my amorous heart was established beyond the gates of my temporal temple
but oh, how I plead, that those emotional doors remain closed.
She smiled at me, sinisterly, through a unique masquerade
unbeknownst to me, my affections bolstered by my loneliness, what insidious fiend she would successfully hide.
“ Creator, could you deliver an angel to me?
One who is certainly the truth of the light she speaks?”
I have experienced the deception of the sultry devils  
I have dealt with them long enough
heartless behemoths that persist in crushing me
I am worn down.
“If I expose all that I am onto your angel will she reciprocate my love?
If I have walked miles for her, would she fail to recollect the steps we have taken together?
Will the memories that she and I create evaporate, consequently, following the application of debaucheries prompting her to desire the sensual sensations initiated by another phallus?
Could my truest affections for her be considered when we, under moonlight, kiss?”
Reviewing all of this I must ask what has happened to the values that established the loving kingdoms of kings and queens?”

I ponder a new lady.
My mind discerning the hesitation of my heart to pursue such presumed bliss
my spirit is vigilant
the mind shall decide lest hearts passionately collide
the physical body is of no consequence.
Let it, please, not be her ****** that she, ignorantly, offers
if I shall prostrate myself, vehemently, before her, my dedication to her being blatant
will she remain with me always?

I have toiled under my desire to, “shake off” the soil
the soiled presences of harlots that I have foolishly seduced within that suppressed era of my youth
the constant breaking of my heart hath led me back to you,
back to her, the harpy.
I pledge, out loud, towards the heavens, that I no longer desire the flesh!
I plead, “that if she must be,
then, may she reflect me,
and, emulating the heavens, shall she, certainly, be a reflection of you?!”

“You’re weird,” you say with a grin so wide,  
“That’s what I like about you,” you say with pride.  

“I like that you’re weird,” you repeat,
Your laughter bubbling, soft and sweet.

"I’m normal, right?" you ask with a glance,  
I tilt my head, caught in a trance.  

"I like normal," I softly reply,
We both end up shocked, flustered and shy

I swear
There’s nothing wrong
With me.
I swear
I am alright

I swear
I don’t need
Therapy.
Swear I haven’t
Lost my sight.

I swear
The voices are
My own,
And my will
To shun is strong.

I swear
That I’d be
Left alone,
If I listened
To their songs.

I swear
My grasp
On reality
Is flawlessly
In tact.

So why
Is it
That in my dreams
My thoughts
Can hold me back?

Why is it
That when
I blink
My dreams begin
To speak?

And why is it
That in my
Brink
The voices
Start to leak?

I swear,
I swear,
It isn’t true.
I haven’t
Lost my head.

I swear,
I swear,
I never knew,
I way,
I can’t be dead.

I swear,
I swear,
I’m in control.
I never
Let them even sigh.

I swear,
I sear,
Trust me, I know,
That why I
Almost never cry.

The day starts okay,

normal, like yesterday, just --


slightly different.

Everything normal:

the queen size beds, the TV --


and the pizza box.

When life gets hard
He begins to smile
For he knows, you can’t cook without lard
And he’d rather walk home then walk a mile

When sunny days disappear
He folds his umbrella away
And follows up, with an afternoon beer
For even the rain doesn’t get in his way

For when he’s fired and put out on the street
He walks up town to buy a car
And then a house for somewhere to sleep
Later he even goes to the bar

Once he was struck by lightening
Then hit by a bus
You know what he said was more frightening
Being in the hospital and seeing all of us

A man who stands his ground
Whose determination knows no bounds
A man that’s been found
And also, a man that should be crowned