I aM so dOne. So tiReD of bOys asPiriNg to be Men, gRabBing my fRaIl heArt and slOwlY teAriNg it apArt. So eXhauSted frOm fixiNg evEry one. PIckiNg up tHeir lOose scRews aNd wAisTing my haPpinEss trYing to fix thEm. My yoUng soUl has AgeD too fAst. My youNg sMile tuRned tirEd. My sickening desiRe to be yEt agAin intOxicated By loVe. I bEg for my sOul to be loSt in soMeoneS smoKe. I craVe for my mInd to be lOst in someoNes fingers. To have my hEart feEl the boTtom of a sHoe. Strange fEelingS tiCkle my coLD hearT.

**** getting kisses for breakfast,
I want them for lunch and tea.
I don’t ever want you,
To have to miss me,
Because that means that I’ve left you,
If I’ve left you then you’re alone,
And that’s not what I want,
My lost pebble in the foam,
                                                       I want sunshine.
I want cold smarting my nostrils,
And setting it’s embers alight,
Deep in my chest.
I want to be under a string of stars
That glow
To the pulse of my heartbeat,
From thousands of years ago.
I want nettle stings on my thighs,
I want mud on my hands
I want you to look at me always in that way
when you brushed off the ***** bloodied sand.


                                     I never washed my shoes after that.

Rosy cheeks betray intentions
knotted stenches lingering.
Partitions are parceling
past eyes crossed.
Rhythms betray spontaneity.
They are rehearsed rendezvouses.

Let me hold you

Let me hold you hold me
and escape the worst of it.
Just for a moment.

The dirt beneath the edges
was scraped out and scattered.
Your roots were reaching through to the other side.

Growing longer with laughter
we bred trees of humanity
and plums of perfect stories
were whispered in the night.

You sang of loud cities.
Erosion. Circumstance.
I shook beneath the sheets
and you held me till morning.

Now we get hollow.
It’s autumn and I miss the sun.
This fruit has soured the air
but please don’t go yet, I still need you.

The wind is blowing through us.
Creaking. Snapping.
Cold shivers.
I think we’re both gone now.
I think I still miss you.

Sometimes she gets scared of how happy he is being alone. How he enjoys the times when he would just prefer to be with himself rather than be with people.

"Know what? You value the time you have for your self so much that you tend to shut people out sometimes."

"It's not that I shut people out, it's just that I think its better to not need other people in your life. You may want them earnestly, but never need them so you won't get disappointed. You won't get left behind."

Silence.

"Does it count as selfishness?" He wonders.

"In a way, I think. It's like you're too scared to let someone into your life or feel the intensity of their presence embedding into your own. And, not everyone's going to leave you behind."

It scares her to think that he might not be capable of truly loving someone.

He leans closer.

"I guess I prefer wanting than needing. I'd rather someone choose me to be part of their life because they want me to be there. And it'll be the same for me. I'd be part of their life because I want to be, not because I am obligated to pacify their or my need until we eventually choke each other with our exiguousness. I know, it's pretty hard to explain, considering the line between the two is relatively thin, but I just don't really want them to be troubled by someone like me."

She looks at him, and their eyes meet.

"But I do. I wouldn't mind if the trouble was you."

**

Lack of

        inspiration


    dedication


                  perhaps everything is


         just caged within.



                        Hard as I try,
  
         wishing to write




    

                but,



         not tomorrow





                              not tonight.

Love me now or leave me be
I wish to be your only need
To be someone that you can love
Please call me your little dove
I’ll love you more than one can bear
I need the scent upon your hair
I hope you see the love I bring
Waiting for that hope filled ring

It's quite simple
To giveth one their all
I Gaveth mine soul,
Canst I get that in return by end of summer?
Even fall?