Sometimes your name escapes me.
A name I considered precious, held close to my heart

The name I used to cry out loud at night,
When we would lose ourselves in one another.

The shape of your name on my lips,
Like a distant memory, was it the same then as it is now?

I close my eyes repeating your name in hushed tones.
The weight it holds now is no more than that of a falling leaf.

I forgot your name when I awoke today.
It was for the best, but I need it for one more day.

I can practically see the sand
Slipping easily through the gap
Between the top of the hourglass
And the bottom.
Our once-forever friendship
Flashes before my eyes,
Its highs, its lows, my everything...
I had heard that good things don't last forever,
But I guess I truly believed that love conquered all.

Today, I walk down the same shore
Of beach 'revival'
They say,
Pick a stone
And you'd come again,
They said the same before.

Out of the shiny, shimmering, crystalline ones,
I chose the darkest, small and round piece of rock.
One mistook it for a darkened egg,
While others declared it a marble.

It's a stone,
Simply my way back to the beach,
Where my transient legs once laid bare
And the grains of sand
pricked against my sole.
Where once my love and I walked hand in hand,
his smile reaching my soul.

Those were yesteryears,
We were young, bold and shy.
His shirt button up till his tie.
We promised to build a house
Along the seaside
Hearing the rhymes of dancing waters.

Indeed I'm back again,
To return the nature its nature,
Giving a last look at the stone
That held him and I close.

I close my eyes
And smile with grief,
I feel his hand touch mine,
I let the stone fall off my fist.
His form disappears in thin air.
My intention is fulfilled.
I've let the waves
Wash away the mortal existence of us.
Now remain only in the faded memories
Of the revival beach.

i can't see a way out of the dark
all i need is a flicker
a glimmer
a spark

we're waiting to bloom
waiting to make plans
if everyone feels this way too
why does it seem like they don't understand?

all they do is relate and compare
and maybe they aren't completely aware
but it hurts just the same
cause i still feel the pain of it

i feel so alone
not even fully grown
but ready to make
a new house a home

The bond of a relationship changes people,
for the better or for the worse.
To some,
it is blinding and to others,
it allows them to see life's colours more than before.
We crave the numbness to reality and the infatuation of love,
but change is inevitable and we don't like change.
The fear of something new but the tranquillity of a fresh stage beginning.
When all of this happens we feel the emotions slipping through our fingers,
unable to grasp onto the familiarity of control.
But just remember that what will be will be,
they might love you now but now is not forever.
Don't thrive in comfort thrive in anticipation,
waiting for the old to leave and then new to come flowing in.

i have come to accept
the decisions i have made in this life
and regret only nothing
that life goes on
and you should too

My old name is dead to me.
That's why they call it a deadname.
The person who had that name breathes no more.
She was killed by my own hands.

She was named for both of her grandmothers,
some sort of sentiment to come from a careless mistake.
Maybe this is what made it so easy for me to **** her
because her name was a throw-away.

Her middle name came from the title of a movie
that her parents had once liked.
But the movie is old and bland, and the plot has no meaning.
So her names are futile attempts at trying to right a wrong,
trying to make up for something that can never be fixed.

I killed her.
I wanted her dead so badly,
so I killed her.

My name is Casey.

I am not heartless, though.
She wanted me to be Casey.
Although I killed her, she still means something to me.

I had to **** her in order to move on.
She knew that.
So I am Casey for her.

Casey.

It means spear.
A weapon.

Fitting for a murderer.