i dont know what you want
but if it isnt me
then just move on
cut the cord now
instead of straining it
until it snaps
because dragging me along
will only hurt me more
so please
unless you really want this
dont take it
because it's all i have left

last November, you said, "I'll always be here when you need me."
so thank you for staying gone.

She left at the wrong time, but was there ever a right time
She must have seen a sign or worse she may have gotten tired
I thought I was the one who could fill her desire
When we met again she seemed happier
something changed, but in a good way
It was at that moment I knew she wasn't there for me in the beginning
I was meant to be there for her in the end
Timing doesn't matter, All that matters is the memories we shared
For those will last a lifetime

i still hear
your 70’s folk lullabies  
every time i go to sleep
even though
i’m 154.6 miles away.

I've been avoiding thoughts of the future
Because I know what it's bringing
In just a few weeks you won't be here anymore
And I know it's just for three months
But it's three months
That's a long time to not see you
That's a long time to not hug you
You're my best friend
You make this town feel tolerable
And make it feel like I'm not alone
You mean so much to me

We've been through a lot together
And I've been too afraid to think about it
Too afraid that I've just been isolating
Instead of letting myself miss you
Instead of enjoying our remaining time together
I know a few weeks turns to a few days quickly
I know you'll be leaving soon
I know I'll have to say goodbye

I don't want to waste this time
Just because I'm too afraid to cry
And too afraid to feel vulnerable
That's not fair to either of us
I love you and I already miss you
It feels like we just started opening up again
And I know this isn't the end
It just feels like it right now

Tears stain my face and
You're coming over soon
So much of me wants to scrub them away
To not let you see how much I'm feeling
To not let you see how much I care
But I know that won't help
It's terrifying to let you see me
But I love you so much
I don't want to lose our connection
I won't let this fear rule me anymore
We're worth being vulnerable for

I think I’m too big for New York.
I can’t fit into its small spaces.

My world is so much bigger than this place

It will be time to leave soon.

hermit crab
spying an empty shell
moving up in the world