The world to me does not exist,
as now I only live in my bed,
sheets and blankets clenched in my fists,
waking up is now something I dread.
The world to me does not exist,
as I just previously said,
and they all say ignorance is bliss,
I had to clear room in my head.

I am just stuck in a rut,
a misery merry go round,
smoking each cigarette to the ****,
silence still making too much sound.

Travel on, keep your feet strong,
life is too short but still too long.
Rambling soul, you'll pay the toll,
with a mind of fire and a heart of coal.
I don't want to stop this,
no I don't want to wait,
fear of missing something to miss,
with a touch of hope of being too late.

The world to me does not exist,
the blue pill looked better than the red,
every hour lived is now on a list,
compiled with showering and being fed.
The world to me does not exist,
society is something I've always fled,
I've hid in the shadows and the mist,
and quietly I've always bled.

I am just stuck in a rut,
a misery merry go round,
with constant aches in my gut,
and lungs that have already drowned.

Travel on, keep your feet strong,
life is too short but still too long.
Travel on, keep your feet strong,
nothing is right and nothing is wrong.
Rambling soul, you'll pay the toll,
with a mind of fire and a heart of coal.
Rambling soul, you'll pay the toll,
you'll live your life and play your role.
I don't want to stop this,
no I don't want to wait,
fear of missing something to miss,
with a touch of hope of being too late.

I know it sounds crazy,
I know I'm such a drag,
I don't know if I'm just lazy,
or if routine is prone to lag.

I keep buying tickets for the lottery
though I'm told I already won.
with each gamble I hope to see,
a glimpse of blue skies and the sun.

The revolution will be televised,
people flooding the streets, the skies.
All who oppose will be demised,
critisized,
antagonized.
Those who carry on will be prized.
And so the cycle continues, generation after generation.
It’s hard to tell what mutation will come to fruition,
but the fact of the matter is that it’ll be just as superficial as the last.
Nobody wants to be different, do they?

I sink into my bed,
laying in Limbo,
comfortably cold
and detached.
Your essence roams back and forth,
pacing
between my ears.
I taste the residue
of your monotone voice,
salivating at the thought of
you.
Our nights were simply
unforgettable.
We watched the clouds
blend into the sky,
as the rich colors became
beautifully distorted;
I swear they breathed.
I gently touched your
empty chest...
As it rose and fell,
The scenery above us
expanded infinitely.
Our laughs
resembled bonded youth,
forming together
like an orchestra of splendor.

I desperately try to relive this feeling,
our captivating high.
It disintegrated.
You have melted away
and life is somber.
you have become a bland figure
without a face.
You have become the static
Of a television in the silence
of an apocalypse.
You hide within irrelevance...
but the way you once moved,
so gracefully,
so insanely,
will remain Imprinted
in my loveless mind.


© 2016 D.M.V

it's a dull word itself
to describe a dull event
in which you feel dull
living
but not living
in a routine schedule
that you call "life"
and where you pretend
like everything is okay
with how you're "living".
i say "living" with
sarcasm,
because if you were
truly okay with monotony
with having a scheduled life
you wouldn't use the word itself
in describing how you are--
monotone.

I handed her my cigarette
Half burnt, and my last one for some time
She pulls it to her lips, drags,
and exhales slowly through her nose
All the while, she didn’t miss a step on the ice stained pavement
I can see her lipstick-less grin
stained against the filter
By some means which i can’t understand
She throws the **** down in front of her
Waiting a solid 4 seconds for her foot path to meet alignment with it
I tried throwing out words, but all I could hear was a bunch of stuttered sobs
cutting in and out in between my breathing
She’s leaving tomorrow
Packing everything she owns into a truck
Just to later unpack, wait, and pack those things back into a similar truck
I step toward her front walk
We exchange a subtle wave, and a slow goodbye
“Trying to fight this urge again” as i thought
But my body takes control, disregarding my thoughts
And grabbing a hold of her small nimble fingers
I find the strength to speak
“I’m really going to miss you. You don’t understand how much it hurts losing
such a fantastic friend.”
Her face was turned aside, shielding my view of her cheap makeup rushing for her chin
She replicates my words, and body language
But i heard nothing she threw toward my ear canals
“I love you” and i can’t believe that I said it at that
Her sobs start to thunder, echoing to the end of her street
“I’m sorry I ****** up. I knew you had better use for my friends than I”
As much as I wanted her to stay, my heart begged her to get on the earliest flight to
the middle of nowhere
Her crying reminds me of a jet engine, roughly 2 days after September 9th, 2001
“You’ve been here for everything. Why do you have to give up now..”
I know this is a bad time, but her blubbering brain won’t let her think
We hug, and i turn backwards as fast as I can
“Remember me when you spend 6 hours alone on a one way street to nowhere”
And so she left

Ive loved you
For two years and three months.
For 27 months.
For 118 weeks and one day.
For 827 days.
For 19, 848 hours.
For 1,190,880 minutes.
For 71,452,800 seconds.
Ive loved you
Since January 1, 2012.
Since I met you at the skatepark.
Since the day I gave you all of me.
Since the day that you actually made me feel wanted.
Since the day we had our very first kiss.
Ive loved you
With every fiber of my being.
With every inch,
With every corner of my heart.
With every warm touch to my body.
With every tear drop from my eye.
You dont want me
Youve left such an impact on me.
Youve changed my thoughts on love.
Youve changed me.
You still have all of me
Every ounce of my heart.
Every fiber of my being.
Im cold
I dont have a sincere smile.
I dont have a warm touch.
I dont have you.
And it has broken all of me