More than this
blank wall,
a good morning
a relationship that lasts.

Bored to the teeth
with excuses
with a cure
with a death hum

More than this,
keeping heads eye
keeping the night black
I slept for one dose

A pink pill
a blue
the end of a love
the darkness escaping for a moment
of light,
the only truth I knew
expanding and reviving
the only soul I know.

Mine.

I awake to an unreal calm in my chest
Blissful and gentle
Merciful
Nothing quite matters
I know it should
But I just don’t care
I inhale deeply, slowly
Savoring the feeling
Knowing it’s temporary
Knowing I’ll have to give it up
It’s not supposed to make me like this
I know I probably take too much
But the serenity
Of the morning
Is so irresistible

I don’t feel like caring
There’s no emotion there anymore
No rush as adrenaline drips into my veins
It’s only in my head
Things I ought to care about
Tasks I should want to do
But caring isn’t physical now
I can’t feel it
Caring is difficult
It takes work to want
Should it be so hard?

I keep cycling
Not knowing what's true
Am I really feeling numb?
Am I so cold and distant?
Or perhaps, instead
I'm just bored
And finally in my right mind
To realize how dull my life is
How futile these squabbles are
But maybe I chose this
Because I feel so much
That I realized
If I let myself feel it all
My heart would break

For love is not a violent thing, nor disparate in its act.
Anger, pain, and solitude
Are the walls of my protection;
With depression and desperation the depthless pit behind.

Break down these walls with gentleness and grit,
And bridge the gap through kindness and understanding.
Unlock the cage made of golden bars;
Release the love and tenderness within.

Wary be those who try to claim for selfishness and spite
For obstacles rebuild again
With rage and vengeance the guardian spears.