~~Follow me down the rabbit hole he spoke,
To a place of delirium and fantasy.
Let your mind follow as your body stays.
As goosebumps creep up your skin.
Feel me when you laugh, little pinholes in your brain.
Run free with me dear Alice,  
For a trip to Wonderland.
Just rest that thin piece of paper on your tongue.
Come with me, old friend.~~

Lucy was in the sky,
eyes shining like diamonds.
She knew she could never die.

Her hair melted in with the tree's roots
The blues mixed with the greens,
and she was wanted by every teen.

Best friends with Alice,
Too beautiful to be ignored,
was forever filled with a silent malice.

Lucy made us all feel endless,
Colors looked better
Everything left us breathless

Lucy and Alice always together
Life is so much sweeter
Now that we're all light as a feather

the children of the sun began to awake, the moon goes down
and a pretty little monkey caught blood orange stars threw them to me said, "the beauty of the most destructive colors. how's your mind feel?"
this is enlightenment through the glorious transcendence into a psychedelic silhouette
Lucy winked waved dove off a cliff and fell out of the sky
the lights begin to sing and the low moon climbs a rope made of stars to strive find hail and you are divine
I realized if I stepped out of my body I'd break into blossom
he turned, cymbals crashed roaring horns and showed me concealed imaginings
evenings die going green and a willow swept by rain here in this room, desiring you, always roaming with a hungry heart- how dull it is to pause or make an end
though it is so beautiful that either you or time must fade, leaving the stations of your body, an iridescent creature, the whole house is thinking
x

I want you to put me on your tongue and let me dissolve into you like the tiny white squares that turn those glossy hazel marbles into black holes and intense stares. I want you to kiss me and see negative colored rulers in the corner of your vision and I want you to have trouble making a decision between kissing me and observing me while I'm sitting on your chest and I want you to laugh like you did with your cherry colored lip curled over your childish grin over and over and over again and I want you to forget the conversation topic every time you close your eyes because the world inside of your mind is filled with blinking images that you can't quite explain aloud so you settle for little talks about Rosa Parks and Indian style kisses and how the ocean is the Earth's thing or the complexity of butterfly brains and whether or not they remember their caterpillar memories (they do). Describe to me the first time you saw your favorite color and what developed the affinity for it: yours, a glacier blue toy that resembled the ocean and mine, a lavender Easter dress that twirled when I spun. Tell me about your school crushes when you were four and what you got your clothespin moved to the sad face for and I'll write it all in ink on my knee caps because "God, we're such writers" and you'll check the clock in the gaps and search for tunes or lighters and I'll want time to slow down because the nights spent with you usually seem as though minutes are just a few seconds shy of sixty, which turns the little hand pretty quickly.
I want hours, weeks, decades, to analyze the freckles on your face or the pace at which you move your tongue and precisely how it tastes.
I want you to tell me that your brother would like me and about the mountains in Tennessee and maybe next time I'll try to stay awake, unless you want to listen to the way I breathe so fully when I dream.

When I close my eyes, I want to be able to see what you see.
I want you to keep burying the numb parts of you into the warm parts of me.

The mischievous Orange cat (is it really orange?) gives me that look, that kinda look that says "oh you can understand me huh?"
All of a sudden the trees lean in and look me directly in the face with that ancient glare of wisdom.
Wait.
The pond.
The pond fairies emerge from their hiding place to give their greetings as the sun shines down on their home.
Aaaannnd the enthusiastic dog jumps in to play but scared them away.
Wow, the mud is really good at massaging my feet.
Is that hill breathing???

Lucy is so electric
Her skin is paper perforated dripping with her liquid blood
Her love is like the world hard and true
Deep black eyes and lips are plumes of color that bleed through themselves and back again
She is restless in my skin and pulses through my flushing face
Smiling and connecting all things
When I kiss her
It all melts
I can't see and can't spell
I can't tell time
And I'm okay with dying

As most of my older followers may know, throughout the last 4 years I hadn't gone a year without doing some sort of chemical drug- until this year. From the time I was 14 to 18 I mixed and sampled the following: (in order) tylonel 3, oxycodiene, MDMA- molly, "m" this drug is a mind killer, it ***** with your serotonin and dopamine levels the most, not super addictive in terms of ****** reactions but mentally it definitely sticks with you, for you will never feel as happy as the first time you try this- my #2 of the never ever try this. I will be a year clean of it on October 30th 2015, GHB- aka *******, *******- oh lordy where do I start. Perhaps with the fact that almost all the coke you buy is cut with laxatives or tylonel. I've suffered the greatest reprecussions physically and psychologically both immediately and long term from this drug. On this drug I experienced stimulant psychosis, cravings, shakes, twitches, believing that bugs were on me, dermotellemania, dramatic weight loss and my skin and hair were terrible. After I had become clean I noticed I still had no appetite, bowel and bladder problems, and craving similiar to those of nicotine. This is my #1- STAY THE **** AWAY FROM THIS, its a silent, slow killer and it's not worth the money you pay for it, $80 (per gram) on laxatives? No thanks. I will be a year clean of this on June 25th 2015, LSD, oxycodin, ****, heroine & dmt.

Personally, things like marijuana, psychobasilic mushrooms, LSD & DMT are still fine with me- I limit my LSD & DMT intake to once every 6 months (if that) and I've found no reprecussions from doing these drugs (yet!).
I was mostly majorly addicted to stimulants and I would advise anyone who wants to not **** up their life to stay away from any stimulant. They really don't benefit you in anyway- the high gets old, the aftermath isn't worth it. I have major mood and mental illness issues that I'm still dealing with to this day- I refuse to take any form of medication such as prozac because I'm afraid I'll get addicted and be on it for the rest of my life. I'm writing this in hopes that anyone who is using, or thinking of using please gets the notion out of their head that they need this ****- it's not cool anymore, its risky and it ruins your body by the end of it.
The reason I chose to stop was because I realized the fact I mentioned above, that it does absolutely no good in the long haul. There are so many better things (better, safer drugs even) then stimulants. I also met a man who supports me and helps me with the craving days I still get at least 1 or twice every month. And I've started to be happy with myself and my body. I want to be healthy. I want to be fit. I want to be happy and carefree- all these drugs do is chain you.

If you read this all the way through, you're lovely.

I hope this helps someone, somewhere out there.

The fine sands,
the Mullen fields,
the Wurm Cave.

Lone beast sought,
One beast discovered.
Thrice, sights found.

Aboard! haste!
Drink thou Mead slow,
the Wurm will enjoy you antonymy.

Land **!
the beast is high,
can thee hear him?

Crawl and creep,
the beast moves
silent under the water.

To his cave three men
brave the cold.
'While the Wurm follows

One sight found,
the soft sands of time,
beneath thy and thou's boot.

Feel the grains in thou palm,
beg ye Lord for salvation
and continue.

Second sight found,
the endless fields of Mullen.
Embrace them.

Feel the grains in thou palm,
beg ye Lord for forgiveness
and breath.

Third sight sound,
the end of the journey,
The Cave of the Wurm.

Steal thyself men!
felt, the Wurm's presence,
steal thyself.

Did I hear you say,
Wurm?

Your soft gentle grip on my spine
You rise, from the base
Seducing your way up, tingling
Into the neck and move into the depths of my mind

You gently stir, waves upon a beach
Thorns to the stem of the rose
Pedals falling all around you
You call to me, gesturing, you tell me to come to you

Softly, slowly I let myself go
Opening my soul to experience you
To my knees I fall
Perfect sacrifice, for again you have taken me.

The tick of the minutes echo in my mind.
Why are you so strongly in my presence when you have so long been gone?
Every day the energy reminds me, it places you in the movie inside my head.
Seeing what could have become, what never was.

For I was not who I should have been.
Your essence surrounded me, intoxicating.
Your touch, your smell, your being.
Everything

It was an unfortunate circumstance
As I take this journey within myself I see it so clearly
Mistakes that repeat, so senseless, so unaware
It’s unlike me, but I think its because I want to taste it
I want to feel it, deep inside, I want it to burn so bright within me that others can see out of the darkness
Maybe it’s not my purpose here, for this life.


I want to taste you one more time. Uninhibited.
Present.
Everything.