It was all too fast and unexpected. Suddenly I was there meeting a complete stranger not knowing what to expect. She was a heart-breaker and I knew it deep down but I ignored all the red flags for all those butterflies and rainbows. She knew where my buttons were, she knew when to push them, she knew how to play a girl very well. And now I'm left feeling like a fool because she has moved on to her next prey.

She wrote love stories to hide the fact that she didn’t have one of her own.

Black and white.
What’s the difference?
One is darker? Lighter?
One looks deep, the other looks pure?
I see nothing.

Male and female.
What’s the difference?
One is smaller? Bigger?
One is more shy? More outspoken?
There, again! Do you see it?

14 and 18.
What now?
One is greater? The other smaller?
Both are even, what is wrong?
What you are is wrong.

what are these feelings i'm feeling?
this rush of emotion clawing at my skin
the excitement of it all sending me reeling
down
         down
                   down
                             to a spiral i cannot escape from
                             is this love? lust? general trust?
                             why does she make me act as so?
                             the curve of her smile brings me
                                                              ­                       down
                                                            ­                                  down
                          ­                                                                 ­           down
                                                 ­                                                               to­ a
                                                                ­                                            chasm
                                                                ­                                              i care
                                                                ­                                             not to
                                                                ­                                            escape
                                                                ­                                              from.

Maybe the reason
you fell out of love
Was because
it was too much
I was too much
Writing you poetries
Vulnerabilities
When you just wanted
to be loved

you say submit to me
as you tie my hands around my back
But when were in public
you tell me to keep my hands to myself
Your lips touch mine and for a second
I think you feel what I feel
But you never do
Because you're blinded by a society
Who you think cares but really doesn't
I love you I say the pain in my throat trying to go away
you smile and say
only in the bedroom
But it was more for me because my body
does not define my love for you and your hands
that that trace my skin and your lips that tell me to submit
know they want more than just my body.
Yet you'll hide behind the screen of a laptop and pretend
like everything is okay. you'll pretend your feelings for me are fake
but I know they're real almost as real as the noises you make
while my hands are possessing your body
REALER than the first time you said you loved me while having ***. But instead of accepting it. Instead of letting me have you. you'll pretend. its not even a big deal that you're gay.
but yet you'll pretend. its okay because when I look at you and you're already looking at me and they way you always try and find a way to touch me ill smile and hope that this act is up but the next day comes and I wake up.

liking who I like does not define me. Being
in love does not mean I'm a child.
I love a girl I tell my mom a wide smile
spread across my face. She looks at me questioning getting ready for the lecturing
"you're confused you like boys" I smile
and play along like okay I like boys but at night when her mouth
Trails down my neck
and I scream out her name I wont want to play anymore
because the way her lips felt
on my skin made me jump and I wanted to feel that every single day.
I wore our relationship like an old noose
because I loved the heaviness of trying to pretend that I didn't like her. Trying to hide our relationship and the fact that I was in love with her.
The closet.
it was grimy and claustrophobic as it
slowly started to suffocate me
running out of oxygen I needed to get out
but you wouldn't let me pass the barrier.
mom I say I've never felt this way with anyone before.
you push me back and close the door.
When I see her my world slowly slips away
and I cant find a way to hide how I feel
anymore I grab her face brining her lips to mine
as we sit in our sin your eyes get wide
and I can pretend for once that I don't care.
coming out felt more empowering then trying to be someone I'm not.
oxygen oh how good it felt to breathe freely. The closet behind me.

There are going to be things in life we don’t completely understand. We’ll never understand evolution or how humans came to be. We’ll never understand why bad things happen to good people or why everyone can’t get along but most importantly we will never completely understand love. We’ve seen it all before and we’ve experienced love ourselves. But, we are still confused about love and let me tell you it is okay to not know. It’s okay not to know who you love or how you love or when you love. You don’t have to know everything or anything about love. Love isn’t supposed to be analyzed or categorized for, it is to be experienced. Love is love. Love is beautiful. You are loved