If I could tell you how I feel, it would be a mess.
I would start with what I think of you.
When I think of you...
I wish you were a better person.
That you had better opinions.
That you considered others more.
Then I'd tell you how you make me feel.
When I see you, my mind goes blank and whispers your name.
My eyes blur and focus on your face.
They push liquid memories down my cheeks and flush away all thoughts.
My heart sings softly of your touch.
I wish what I feel has reason.
Why do I love you? You're not great. You barely pass "good."
Yet you pass right through me. All my defenses. All my security.
My love remembers you.
But I wish I could forget.
Forget you were here. Forget you exist. Forget you are important.
I wish I could fix myself. Fix these thoughts with a figurative hammer and shatter those ******-tear-stained glass string that attach me to your back, where memories pull me towards you.
Remember when you told me there was nothing wrong with me?
That I'm perfection solidified, personified?
I remember... when I think about how much I hate you. When I see reasons that you're nothing special. Nothing great. You're not a good person, oh, no. But I remember...
How you're good to me.
But you weren't really?
Remember when I doubted your loyalty? How I thought you were my mistake?
When I thought you could never purposely try to hurt me, or anyone.
Then we did what we did.
And now I can believe it.
I thought you were faultless.
I thought you were amazing. Flawless. Perfection personified.
Why do I still feel it?
Why can't I let go?
You're nothing special.
Nothing good.
Remember when you held my hand, after all these years?
When you saw me for me? When it was just you and I.
Just you and I. There was nothing anymore.
No worries. No time.
No time to be just us.
Everything but time froze. Everything but the world.
I wish I could forget you.
Everything about you.
I wish I could love again.

I hate Love
and lets be honest
I don't think
that I'm ever gonna Love it...

You want me.
Again, you do.
You tease me...
Let me follow a trail of bread crumbs.
Leading me to a blithing darkness of nothingness.
And a skip along.
I lag on,
Singing your praises.
I do.
You want me,
You said you do.

we fight over the smallest thing;
like how I love Ovomaltine
and he thinks Nutella is better
I treat him like a disappointment
while he acts like I don't matter
I am always so close to tears
and he's so close to the edge
what's odd is this;
every morning, I still wake up
with his arms wrapping me
and whenever he knows I move,
he tightening up his hug
as if he won't let me walk away
so I stay

Today I will type my love for you,
Sharing my feelings about the things
you have put me through.

My sunny days you filled
with rainy clouds,
My peace and quiet
with horrific shouts.

A thin line between
love and hate,
I guess my love for you
is not that great.

-ZvZ-

Remind me of the beauty you had
You're not the girl I tried to convince myself to love
Yeah, *****, you getting terrible
I like it, and I love it
But I hate it and dislike it
I expected you to be a better person

But, you know
You said your purpose was to disappoint