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I miss the fervor with which I used to write
I miss the way words would dance in my mind until the perfect combination fell at my feet
I miss knowing more than a few good cliches and metaphors
I miss the desperation I had to explain every feeling, to describe every moment, to relish in something for longer than I experienced it because memory fades and I need the possibly exaggerated details to grasp onto
I miss not feeling brain fatigue after writing two lines or reading a single chapter
I miss the overwhelming desire to see my ideas come to life and become something other than a vision that will haunt me before I go to sleep and become lost in nightmares and lost hopes and reminders before I jump off the cliff jolting me awake just to be surrounded by complete darkness when I open my eyes just like the true ending to the fall I was just shy of landing
Erwinism Nov 7
When I had my sight on you,
it was as good a currency
I spent on my first dance.  
There was an element of reluctance,
my feet glued to the floor,
my body, a deflated balloon
chasing after its soul.
You were more than a plant
draped in petals and perfumed with seasons of romance,
you were a garden of light,
enticing weary butterflies
of this world.
So when I pawned enough courage
to pluck your name out of those ripe lips,
I locked it away
so I could relish rolling my tongue
and tapping my teeth
and watching my spirit twirl to its syllables
saying it as if I were singing.
Driven by madness,

Bewitched with confusion,
Feverish with longing
Come after the quaint question,
“Am I beautiful?”
Or
“Does this dress suit me?”
Or
“How do I look?”
—am I ever worthy to answer such divine a question?

Not that there is a scarcity of vocabulary encased in dictionaries and thesaurus,
but perhaps the definition undermines the word.
For if I could,
if permitted to be brazen
and to be bold
to cross the border
defining our reality,
your beauty
has invented every beautiful thing
known to me.

Every poem,
on paper penned,
on spoken stage, uttered
on music, winged;
Every song on battlefield charged,
until the mind is intoxicated,
into ears poured
—beautiful is not worthy an adjective to sit or stand before your name.

You are to me,
what blues is to King and Clapton,
what a ring is to Sméagol,
what the truth is to Neo,
what sea is to a fish,
perhaps a hiding place
perhaps it is a galaxy of their own,
though in the end,
bare nakedly, you are the meaning.

“Are you beautiful?”
Yes, beyond what my eyes could touch.
Late into the night,
a fire rages on,
devouring everything it sets its sight on.
memories, splinters, concreate and rubble.
still, it wants more,
nibbling on silence, the dark of the night
itself.
its tongue stretches and laps,
its stomach nowhere near full.
it twists and turns, ignoring
the tug of its shadow.
it wants what it wants,
regardless of how it tastes.
its fingers constantly reaching out,
leaving a scorched trail everywhere it’s been.

here I sit, watching the fire
grow in size and height,
hoping that by some twist of fate,
it finds what it truly hungers for.
until then, nothing or no one will be able
to put it out.
I too have tired myself out,
opening the refrigerator,
like you will magically appear.
Cat ꨄ Nov 5
I hold on too tightly,
You tell me to ‘tread lightly.’
Fearful to let go,
you tell me “let’s just take it slow.”
you pull away;
I pull you close.

My nails sink deep into your skin,
You flinch away in pain-
I apologize,
Yet I pull you close again.

I kissed you too hard,
until your lips were blue and sore.
I ran my fingers down your back,
And made you bleed some more.

I kissed your neck,
Then you started to choke.
I held your face in my hands,
until it was fear I started to evoke.

I held you tight,
you started to suffocate.
I held on with all my might,
you continued to hesitate.

now I’ve lost you;

I hadn’t realized my hands had claws,
I had you clenched in my jaws.
If I could’ve just paused,
Maybe I’d seen the harm I’d caused.

Please understand what I have to do;
it was far too much to put us both through.

Now I keep my distance,
I couldn’t continue my persistence.
My kisses no longer linger,
like a bee whose lost its stinger.  

I stung you,
and pulled out my insides.

I won’t hold my lips to you neck,
or wait to hear your pulse.
I left us such a wreck,
I clung onto you like an impulse.

I held on too tightly,
until I had to completely let you go.
Now you’re just a pain that visits nightly,
you came in at a point where I was already at a low.

Why couldn’t I just take you slow?
Kim Seul Nov 5
When I speak of the desires of my heart, they designate it insanity,
yet what they'll never savvy is that just like the nature's care for naturity,
I, too, have cared for you, since the first time I came to see your quiddity.
Even so, you too will continue to see it as nothing but a boy's mendacity.

Watching the stars above yearning for happiness,
my extant soul slumps with despondence,
the melancholic glisten of the meandering clouds, an inefficacious prospect,
reminding me of my world, a life sans zest.

I still reminisce of the time we met, a starry night with a mesial crescent moon;
The Hour before the Holy, the ephemeral moment blessed by love, purity, and strength.
The enigmatic attraction I felt, the way my heart ached, begging to be united with yours, soon;
the daze I lost myself into, coupled with the way you took away my breath.

And I dare proclaim, that I cannot live without your voice;
your sweet whispers, accompanied by your smile.
The way you look at me, makes me rejoice,
in your eyes, I see a future worthwhile.
Your hairs flutter sound, alluringly,
engrosses me so naturally.

Yet, we stand here as friends, pretending to be nothing more,
the fear of rejection shaking us to our core.
I do think — think about you all the time,
but it cannot work, for I am a dime a dozen.

Would you still look at me, despite life’s horror?
For I vow to stand by you, never to depart,
In sickness and in health, for richer or poorer,
for better or for worse, till death do us part.
Cassandra Nov 5
Your shadow and mine,
far apart in space,
far apart in time

Waiting by the edge of birch
waiting by the edge of the world
waiting for fate to end our search
mjad Nov 4
your heartbeat echoes in my ear as your chest is pressed to my face
warmth radiates between us as if we have all the time in the world to waste
i would trade a lifetime for another second in your embrace
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