Its the middle of the night,
I have this pit in my stomach.
Its a sinking feeling,
I cant stop it.
I need help,
I cant ask for it.
Feels like hell,
I cant get out of it.
Im sinking,
Deeper and deeper,
To the depths of despair.

I'll never share a kiss
Or receive handwritten love letters
I'll never be given a bouquet of pink and red flowers
Or dance in the street with the late night showers

And when I feel distraught
There'll be no one there
I'll never experience comfort from another
Never the warmest hugs of a lover

I'll watch everyone else slowly fall in love
While I watch in the distance
And I wonder when it'll be my turn
Having something that which years I've yearned

And I'm simply told to get over myself
And find comfort in being independent
But for my whole life I've been on my own
Oh, how I wish to be the subject of a love poem

Must I spend my whole life alone?
Must I spend my whole life unloved?
If only I wasn't drowned in such a frantic
Oh, the miserable life of a hopeless romantic

I sense loneliness creeping in my bones
Its beyond uneasy, you know
I do miss you
Though, I'd never admit that to myself
Even if I'm going through hell,
Cause I like to pretend.
That I'm perfectly fine without you.
That my sky is still a pretty blue
I put up this pretence,
without any help.
The one thing I'm excellent at,
Is lying to myself

I compare my loneliness to the sound of a mourning dove.
It starts low and small, then goes up
It repeats the more each call goes unanswered

Perhaps letting it out, alone and loud
over and over
eases the pain, yet also pokes at the caged creature within
encouraging a festering of wounds.

A mourning dove never seems to be where the other birds are
Because when it calls it becomes all I can hear
It guides me far into the fog, ever elusive
until I finally spot it
high above on a line.

Every time it gets a little easier.
Every time it starts to sound less
like a Gymnopédie No. 1
and more like a Claire de Lune
major key as well as minor
content as well as sorrowful.

It's alone, and it's still singing.

I collapsed, the ground gave way
The earth, it trembled and it quaked
I thought that I would tear asunder
Ripped by each blight, botch, and blunder.
Could I ever overcome?
Not alone, no, not alone.
The world screamed until I was numb—
Like them, I thought I was alone.
When hardship comes and runs its course
When I am bashed by every force
When I feel sullied and abhorred—
Christ says, “You are not alone”.

I sit with him under a tree
Where me and her once sat.
We both shared secrets and stories
We'd always talk, no matter where we were at

They both said things I keep in my heart
I can hear their words in the back of my mind
Only one is in the past, and one is now
Will you be the friend I've been longing to find?

Me and her would talk everyday
Until one day she decided to leave
Me and her don't talk everyday
But remembering her won't make me grieve

Our connection is growing fast
You're a person I want to remember
Will this end up like the last?
And will you please be her?

I’m just the moon, wandering through
You’re the sun, adding shine to the morning dew

You stack up your compliments every day and night
While others insult the moon and start to fight

Now we are next to each other, and people assume
That you’re the better option and ignore me in the room

You light up the day, and I only darken it
You stood up for me, but only told me to sit

Nobody could ever live without you
Without me, they’ll still be attracted to you like glue

I’m jealous of all the people you adore
But they see me as only an aching sore

Maybe one day we’ll make a solar eclipse
But now our relationship is only a wisp

Now you and your band begin to sing
While I’m only watching from the wing

clamoring voices
twist and turn
around me
melodies strange
each utterance
a puzzle,
a din
unbearable

I watch them
laughter rises
like smoke from fire
merry-making
joy
in their faces

I stand
at the banks
of their flowing
mother tongue,
I cannot cross;
I feel the divide

the song
of my culture
the lyrics
I cannot sing
lost in
the sound
understanding
eludes me

traditions and dances
warmth
of their fire
a distant craving
too distant
I feel nothing
but bitterness

lights dimming
the weight of
shame
bears down
upon me;
I shall know
no release