It seems that
I like that
I can't have you,
but when the
challenge is over,
so are my wants.

How long did it take
To scrub the taste of you
Off of my mouth?
My gums were bleeding by the end
My bed was a mess
Sheets torn, this way and that
A futile attempt
To make them reek
Of anything other than you

Insecurity.
Hold it until the
Alcohol takes over
And the courage you
Hide from all
Spills out like
Oil from ruptured,
Rusted pipelines.

Insecurity.
I hold it like
A security blanket.
Being high takes
All of my courage
And lulls it to
A whispering halt.
Let go.

if I was brave enough id tell you exactly how I feel
"Hey, I like you a lot, like a lot, a lot, maybe even love but I'm not quite sure yet. Don't ask me why because I'm not quite sure yet. Actually scratch that. I know exactly why. you make me feel all these emotions. happy, sad, angry, euphoric. all these feelings I've never felt before, you make me feel. every time I look at you I see and feel colours that don't even exist. seeing your smile makes me smile. the thought of losing you makes me tremble. your hugs send shivers down my spine. i know I barely know you and we haven't known each other but I really, really want you in my life for a long time. yeah, I like you a lot, I get it if you don't feel the same though."
and that is exactly what I'd tell him
I hope i do one day

Spread a kind song,
Unwind the dream,
Fall new on your veil.

Spread a soothing cold,
Twist the imaginary,
Surrender to the obscure burning.

A silent yearning,
A splash of soft renegade.
This gold softness
Close again like armor;
My collapse, his surrender.

Please my quiet scream;
I crave your emotion,
My charming melody.