If I were to send you all the letters I wrote,

the ones where my heart bled out the words

and where my tears painted the borders.

—where I laid out all my pain to rest,

you would know the depths my heart has tunneled,

just so I could make more space for you.

you would know the dreams I tucked away

for the day we reached our promise of forever.

you will find, there, the thousand different ways

I wish I could have said I loved you.
and a thousand
 more ways I wished
I could have made you stay.

call them prayers, the way I begged the heavens

if there was a way to save a sinking ship.

or heal all the wounds yet to be inflicted;
or take away the memories yet to be made;


If I had sent them, would you have understood?

that there was no way for me to love you 

any less than I did. That is the way that I am.
And there was no way for me to love you

and not lose myself. I’d have given you my soul.

and your glass would never have been empty

because I would have given you my all.