They tell you that love is light
but it’s your darkness that
keeps my heart beating

Your beautiful  brown eyes leave me breathless.

When I look deep inside, I leave my world of care & stress.

Dark & moving, they make me gaze with wonder.

When they look at me, I feel upbeat & happy.

I long to discover what is hidden behind the unreadable & straight faced.

Warmth surrounding me, reminding me that I'm safe.

Brown eyes, you're beautiful & you're mine.

~C☆J~

I feel the the air around me brushing lightly, lovingly against my skin.
As I'm slowly making my way down to whatever awaits beneath me, I hear your voice in my head telling me I'll be more than fine.
But for some reason, I believe you.
I feel at peace.
I know I can trust you.
I've never felt so.. oddly certain.
I should be questioning everything.
But instead I feel no reason in my gut, body or soul to doubt you. Or anything else for that matter.
I give you the power to destroy me or make whole. You have decided to do none of the two.
But that doesn't bother me.
The anticipation doesn't get to me.
You do something to me that I have yet to understand.
Strangely.. I'm okay with that.

I am at a slow standstill with realization huffing down my neck.
Do we ever have the opportunity to tell them how much we truly love them?
Countless wishes don’t tally up the way real actions do
ones we sit back and merely hope will arrive
so that we may go on for hours the way we yearn to.
But in honesty, that is just not real life.
But why can’t it be?
Why don’t we see people sacrificing a few minutes at work
for a few moments of kissing on busy streets
ignoring the daily routines scolding us from all four corners of our brains
to utter words more precious than time.

Hatred could come very last as your gasp claws for heaven
so I change my mind.
I am here
I am now
replicating the saccharine agony of love as candidly as I can.

I know you see it pouring from me
and I pour
and I pour
and I spill as thoroughly as I am brave.
I pour space and time continuum's
and still
for you
I cannot pour enough.

I believe strongly in infinite strings
that pull definite souls closer to each other
but I did not feel that tug the way I did
until I met you
when I thought two planets were colliding into one
a new solar system was being bent to match your eyes.

There was one single moment
that stood our sorely amongst all other magnificent ones.
I remember accidentally cutting my thumb
the wound small by size, not by pain.
I told you it hurt.
You kissed me.
I didn’t know the pain went away until you stopped and it returned.
That is exactly what
loving you is.

The only difference is that moment was temporary
while we are permanent
scars on blank canvases
ashes impersonating dust
what is engraved in my skin when it is you.

I have looked so widely and thought I had loved so deeply
still not far, not wide enough
as I was just scratching the tough surface,
this is more than butterflies
and better than death.

You cannot be summed up in pronouns
nothing short of wedding vows
for I who is so methodical
craves to live illogically with you.

When you are doing absolutely nothing
is when I adore you most
when you sit there
with nothing in the world but you
is when my heart cannot swell greater.
You, in your simplest human form
is etched into the core of my soul
where you have dug up far beneath my chest
things that even I have let reside in its own dust.
Your purest version
is when I love you primitively.

Although your grand endeavors are nothing to reckon with
and their end would shave my heart to its gruesome core
I love you, when you are hand to hand with me and you do not know it
when we dance in my driveway and somehow it is not cliché
despite the fire in your eyes and the glimmer in my throat
longing to entwine with yours.

When your voice cracks
your hair does strange things
those icy veins that layer the bones in your fingers
on the front of your hands
your golden eyelashes
when you are absolutely unaware
and the consuming happiness that moves me
when I lull you back with
“Baby? Are you awake?”

Darkness warmly embraces your face
like the milk of your naked skin
when I know you as a whole
muttering prayers down the spine of your back
dousing your worry lines with kisses I wrap in bauble
and the amount of times I’ve almost stopped making love to you
to write it all down
but could not will myself to so intensely
that I sacrificed letting such sacred things like good ideas go.

But I do not clutch to regret
when your skin is meant to be upon mine
your voice a legality when harmonized
with the type of laughter that only prevails
when you can no longer breathe
and you realize
you,
are in love.

And if I could freeze this moment in time
paste it to my walls with forever  
I would.
I would make an extra copy
just so I could organize it in my filing cabinet
label it: Love. The life in me. Him.

He, is the heart to my heart
the soul to my soul
replacing your birth name with Love
the name my universe knows you a whole lot better as.

I have come to my conclusion,
as your lips clasp the tremors of my heart
one more time.

No poetry
no words
no existence
has the capacity to compare the love that you are to me
the love of mine that you hold.

At my least is this,
so that my undying love will not halt
after this poem signs its period:

You—
are I.
Speechless
impossible.
Piecing together
overwhelmingly
all that is love.

I am used to shutting everyone out,
Hiding away so I feel safe.
Hurt too many times to be foolish,
and think it's okay to trust people.
Yet, I trusted you from day one.
I let myself open up to you,
in ways I have never done before.
I was scared at first of loving you,
Scared to death of falling for you.
But while trying not to fall for you,
I fell harder than I ever thought I could,
And you fell for me as well.
I will never regret letting you in,
I will never regret falling in love with you
Just,
Please don't go.

and even
the tiniest parts
of my body
ache and scream
calling out
your name

1AM
"Hello?"

2AM
"I miss you"
"Why did you let go"
"Was I not enough?"
"Do you have someone else to let you see all skin and bones?
    Someone who could see through all those muscles and enlighten your soul?
    Someone who would hold you until the morning light?
    Someone who could love you even with all your flaws?
    Someone who could love you more because of them and think that you're beautiful?
"I loved you."
"I still do."

"You know what? *******, ******* because you made me fall. Made me think that you would catch me but in the end I realized that you never to do so. *******, for wasting my time, making me think that you were worth my while. Lastly, *******, I am still inlove with you

7AM
What have I done.

1AM
*"Hello?"

thing is;
 i never wanned to admit it,  but, 
i did miss you,
 you just hurt me a lot
i don’t give a **** about your drunken texts,
 or phone calls, for god sake,
 you wreck everything,
 you’re so ******* fake
don’t you dare blame me,
 this is on you,
 i’m finally free,
 of *******,
 yeah i finally broke through
thing is;
 *******, for getting up and leaving.

I caught you staring
at me,
you looked away,
and pulled
your sly
little smile.

I've been warned,
from the very first day,
to stay away.

But like our first
impression,
you're hard to forget.

You caught me staring
at you,
and i didn't look away.

You have my attention,
a forbidden engagement.