all i want to do is love you
love you,
love you.
i've had my hands tied
for far too long
and i am finally floating,
i'm floating.

I'm fine.
So don't question why
tears are filling my eyes.
I'm stressed
to do my best.
I must confess,
I'm a mess.
All this work in front of me,
the work,
it hurts my mind.
So don't wonder why
I will sit here and lie.
If you ask if I'm okay
just know I'll say
the same thing every time.

I'm fine......

yes, the sadness hurts

     but it's better

than being

     numb.

As I begin to lose
my sweet memory
The flotsam and jetsam
and ephemery.

The regrets, the injustice,
the pain and despair
The resentments, the insults,
the hurts and the fear.

The timeless reminders
of not good enough
That pale yellow post it:
“Hasn’t got the right stuff.”

That time that you said
what no one would say
“I don’t really love you
now please go away.”

Most of it gone now,
I can’t quite remember
It whispers to me
from a foggy December.

Am I better off for it?
Perhaps in some way
Have I gained from the loss?
It’s a bit hard to say.

I need no longer sit here
and artfully languish
In all the sad fury
of my piquant anguish.

Like my father before me
I’m one of those old timers
Reaping the benefits
of beneficent Alzheimer’s.

cutting my finger and it hurts
breaking a bone and it hurts
hitting my head and it hurts
you refuse to love me and it bleeds

i picture red ugly drunks, bitter
while delirious women dance around them
Together, lathered in music,
rock symphonies trudge over their pounding headaches