Your words hurt me
The way you ridicule me for something I can’t help
I don’t deserve it
What have I done to you?
It hurt
The things you said
“Were you abandoned?”
Yes
“Were you just unwanted?”
Yes
And I don’t want to think of that anymore
You saying that just brings old
USELESS
Memories back
You ask
“Did they just not want you?”
The answer is yes.
I can’t make it anymore obvious I don’t want to talk about this
Your words didn’t just hurt me though
If that happened I would have been fine
But no,
You hurt my friend with your heartless words
And I will defend them from anything
You need to know the impact of what you said
You made me feel worthless
Like I am not wanted
Do you know how that feels?
No
You don’t.
But that how you made me and my friend feel
As if we were nothing

Pain
It’s all I know
It’s all I see
It’s all I hear
It’s all I feel
When will it stop?
It is slowly tearing me apart
The physical pain of my injuries
The mental pain of knowing I wasn’t wanted
The emotional pain of my demons
It just needs to stop.
I can’t stand it anymore
It’s there
Always
Subconsciously
I don’t know how to make it stop
It’s starting to get too much.
The pain of being abandoned
Ignored
Abused
Emotional and mentally
I just don’t know how to end it all.
My existence revolves around pain
I don’t know how to just turn it off
The pain of being unwanted
A shadow
Pushed around
It HURTS
I don’t know what to do anymore
Maybe I will just end it all
Or resort to harming myself
I just need to do something to end it
Or at least leases this feeling
The only thing I know is pain
I guess I’ll just have to live with it

Impossible
I try
But to no avail
To trust is to love
And that I cannot feel

It hurts to watch
Others trust
And turn to dust

Eyes closed tight
On a winter night
Cry away
With all your might

I told you
To trust is to love
And that I cannot feel

Whenever I say something you ignore me
Whenever I do something you hurt me
Whenever I think something you yell at me
I have had enough
If you don’t like how I am then leave
I do things how I want
If you don’t approve
I don’t care
I do what I want
You say that you care
But actions speak louder than words
You of all people should know that
Your the one that drilled it in me
So quit yelling
Quit hitting
Quit hurting me
Even if you don’t see,
I need you to know
How much you hurt me
Every time you yell
Hit
Hurt
I just can’t take anymore
I’m sorry
But it’s true
Whenever you yell,
I flinch
Whenever you ignore me
My spirit deflates
Whenever you hit
I take it
But it HURTS that you would hurt me
And I don’t know what to do now

Look, I really appreciate whatever it is you're trying to do.
But, I’m really gonna need you to just
Shut the ever loving **** up;
Because you mean well
But you don’t listen to a word that comes out of my mouth.
You offer hollow advice
And you sound a hell of a lot
Like a guy I really wanna ******* deck in the face
So now you’re kinda morphing into a guy that I
Kinda want to deck in the face.
And hey, maybe I just really need to ******* deck somebody in the face.
But then you blame me because you don’t understand,
Well you never tried to in the first place.
I’m sorry my problems are not wrapped up in pretty packages.
I’m sorry they’re not easy to clean up messes like water on linoleum
I’m sorry they’re red wine on white skirt
I’m sorry I drank all the wine
I’m sorry the fact it looks like blood makes you uncomfortable
But blood is thick and messy and it stains
So don’t expect wine to be much different
Only because it’s more socially acceptable to make a mess with it
So please,
Take your halfhearted help,
And give it to someone who halfheartedly gives a ****.

Hindi mo alam kung gaano ko nakipag laban sa mga kaaway.
Hindi mo alam kung gaano ko nakiramdam sa mga patay.
Hindi mo alam kung gaano ako nakinig sa pipi at bingi.
Hindi mo alam kung gaano ko isintabi ang sarili
sa gitna ng mga kuro kuro,
pag aalala
at pagkalungkot ko bawat gabi.

Hindi mo alam kung gaano kalamig ang init ng tag araw sa tuwing gigising akong wala ka man lang sa aking tabi.

Para kang buhay sa bingit ng katamayan.
Para himig sa kawalan.
Kawalan ng paramdam at kawalan ng malay.

Kasing lamig mo na ang kapeng tinimpla sa mainit na tubig
Kasing lamig mo na ang kanin bahaw sa tabi.

Anong nangyari?
Bakit tila isang bagyo ang nagpawala ng tayo at tanging bakas na iniwan satin ay ito.

Bakanteng lote puwang sa puso
na ni isang ugat ng pag mamahal ay parang ayaw nang tumubo.