It's a horrible, ruining feeling,
feeling alone whilst being surrounded by
those you call friends,
but you know in your heart and mind you will
never fit in with them,
You will always be an outcast.

It's a self-destructing feeling,
knowing that every single person you let in,
you will eventually push out.
Yet somehow you still
allow yourself to make family,
though in the end, you know anyone who
holds that title has only ever caused you to burn.
So you justify to yourself,
that they deserve to be locked out,
and never know why.

It's an honest feeling,
hating yourself for damaging the purity of
the innocent just because you've been
burned by others before.
Loathing the simple-minded,
when in fact you are jealous that their
innocence is still intact.
So you break it.
You break it and try to get even with the world,
and for that you honestly hate yourself.

I have lost everything that made up myself.
Any chance of love I had is gone.
any breath of fresh air, ripped from my throat in a cloud of chloroform, rising from the pit of my stomach.
my heart beats like an old drum. like death.

Boredom can cause you to do
horrible,
  dreadful,
    frightful,
     shocking,
       terrible
         things.

That causes hair-raising
and spine-chilling thoughts
to appear in your mind.
Yet they never seem to hurt the bee,
only the bird.

Ok.. so here's the deal.
I like this guy but, he has a girlfriend and when you say it like that some people call it a love triangle.
All three of us fighting.
But only two of us are getting what we want.
One guess.. not me.
I always try to tell him but never get the chance.
So until i do the only thing i can do is be apart of this love triangle.
And hope one day im the one who gets what i want.
But all i can end with is be in this horrible love triangle...