Who are these people?
Why aren't you listening to me?
Can you not see...what I can see?
I think that my soul wants to jump out of my body it is vibrating and I am shaking...
I am breaking
I try and sleep and only know these waking
hours...
Do you have the powers around here?
Where are you taking
me???

No, I don't want to be
No, I do not want to die
No, I've never ever actually tried...
yes, I wish I wouldn't cry
these up and down tears of utter panick, agony and distress  
Alright already I confess!
I'm probably just like the rest
I don't know... is this..
a test?
You....
tell ME?

I can't eat
or care for myself...
I feel nauseous
my stomach hurts really bad
yes I am, I am kinda sad
Occasionally I find happy
or laugh at something sappy
man that dog is yappy!
What is HE yelling at?
and why is SHE saying that?
did someone just barely call ME fat?

I don't trust that person over there
she has bugs in her hair
that girl...right there!
....that guy said so!
and HE should know...
and I don't like the way that one looks
at me...
He...
...is creepy... said I'm beautiful
bunch of weirdos and addicted crooks
no I don't want to read a stupid book!
or go to a class?!
For what?

I don't understand why I'm here
I'm afraid I'll never leave
You need to believe
I cannot understand I feel like I'm in Hell
That is not a place I'd ever want to dwell
I know I did NOT sell...
my soul!

Well then, what's your goal while your here?
Tell us what's the greatest fears?
Something whisper in your ears?
What do want your life to look like?
Don't look so worried
It's alright... take all the time you need
we'll feed you in the meantime
I can see...sweetpea...
your clearly confused and you look
like you took awhile to get here
you seem exhausted... so try and get some sleep

Oh..falling into the deep!
Oh I don't know
those picture shows
can be so frightening
the snapping, cracking deadly lightning and strange
gutteral things and horrible loud flapping, rapping blackened wings!
the Raven he came thrice
along with the 3 blinded mice
and other ones were not so nice..
...either

Yes...but still some are still exciting?
Even if still a little frightening?
Like dreams of forgotten or forbidden love
and singing Angel's from up above?
memories of your first sweet kisses
some so nice...and a few near misses
the boy that you sent for
on your hand blown wishes?
How he loved to watch you dance
in his eyes he stared at you entranced
your souls were one so intermingled
touching him it made you tingle...
and you loved how beautifully familiar
he was...
Remember that?

Yes I suppose..that you are right
time to rest here for the night
thank you for this dreaming land
when I wake up...you know...
I've planned
on doing everything better!

Okay, goodnight my darling
close your peeping..
sleeping eyes
No more tears for those to cry
Rest your overwhelming fears
get sweet dreams, my precious dear
I'll see you in the morning

I'm just warning...
No more walking dead
that's the only thing I still dread
I guess enough about that I've said...
Change will be here soon...I know.

Goodnight...
I'll see you in the morning light
when all my hopeful dreams
again...
...take their final ...
               winged flight.

Cherie Nolan © 2016

Some people make me feel heavy...
They carry their woes chained to the past --
Eyes low, downcast.
Stressing each breath as though it were their last.
And I wonder how long it takes to be comfortable with the weight of dead dreams.
How do they walk around
With the burden of unburied bones on their backs?
Held by conditions of the mind.
Burdened by the size of their gravitas
And they’re falling...
Into themselves crushed by the weight of their own contentment.
That fatal attraction to complacency --
A gravity to destruction --
A psyche made of black holes.
Their thoughts are collapsing
When their microcosms meet reality
Imploding delusions radiating that hopeless flare.
A signal for help.
The meltdown, a mental Chernobyl.
I’m just waiting to for them to blow up praying there won’t be any casualties.
Blow up
Inflated egos with hot air
And dead works
As they babble on in Babylon
Spoon fed trash.
Faith has no room to operate in a mind of science.
What is hope when proof dictates belief?
So they have erected Babel’s Tower in their hearts
And loan themselves to a system of debt.
Invest their golden years as sacrificial time
Traded for the wisdom that opened the door to death.
If the fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge,
Then knowledge without fear is the beginning of pride.
That monster...
Shadow of “I am...
That stands in the light of the court proclaiming his dominance as the reigning king.
Adamant to follow in the footsteps Adam went.
The way they lean to their own understanding
Until their spines break under the weight of their egos
Teetering over the tightrope’s edge.
The fall of the fallen is written in their genes
Ironed by the conditioned mind.
The crease, a solid line between right and wrong
They attempt to re-appropriate with the folds of personal truths.
Dry cleaned to a false sense of purity
Marks that won’t quite come out
Stain the fabrics of time.
Their morality is a matter of opinion.
The cross they bare crushes with neglected facts hidden in plain sight.
They embrace fantasies like pillows of bubbles
Alarmed when their resting place pops under uncertainty.
And they’re falling...
In the depths of a dream scared to wake
Drowning in their subconscious.
So heavy are the lungs
With the labor of life.
So heavy are their eyes
With the labor of attention.
Though winged like eagles
They have traded flight for earthly pleasures.
Lowered their sights from heavenly castles
To these fleeting natural treasures.
Regal royalty out of place from their thrones
Bowing prostrate before rulers with no measure.
Give them an inch
Now they must slave on their feet
To the yard they ***** pyramids for miles and miles and miles.
Standard measures for standard living
When they choose to cover their world
In darkness' cold blanket
And invite the warmth of temptation into their beds
Sleeping with the enemy unable to satiate
The Deadly Seven.
Carnal lusts mixed with greed
It’s in gluttony they trust
Envy to spurn ambitions
Too slothful to accept the mission
So they whisper a prayer full of doubt hoping he’ll listen
Ignited by wrath at the answers condition.
They point a finger up at He
Puffed up pride with the audacity
To curse His name - ****** bitter blasphemy.
It’s on his children they blame
The disposition of their fortune
Not realizing those without these familial ties
Are all out cutting deals with lady luck.
Many are bound to get stuck.
Meanwhile I sit on Cloud 9
Tracing silver linings in dark skies
Wishing I could rend the firmament to show them heaven is but a thought away.
To believe is the only way
I know to escape this purgatory
Called life.
One must learn to flow with the wind like a leaf
To move with His perfect will guided by invisible hands.
If these heavy souls could but release the reigns
And give him a little control.
Remember the authority placed in them…
Let Him shoulder their burdens.
Their steps will no longer carry the weight of oppression.
They would remember their wings to fly.
They would remember just how light it feels to be
Alive.

The world will shatter your dreams
Step on your hopes
Spit on your hard work
And laugh at your failed attempts

The world will not slow down for you
It will not go easy on you
It will not be patient with you
It will swallow you whole

But don’t be disheartened
Don’t ever stop trying
Don’t let failures faze you
Pick up each broken hope and mend them

For no one ever succeeded without first failing
So, regardless of how many times you fail
Stand up, mend your wounds,
And go after that dream

Hopes and dreams,
are like teardrops in the rain,
they get lost,
In reality.

Anonymous.

even when i am winged
i am benign,
i am beginning.
walking with my feet tied
so loosely to the concrete
by puppet strings;
made of words & cream
& other fragile things not
to be touched,
only to dream.
a marionette trembling
with grabby fingers pulling & drooling
oil onto my chest -
heavy, but it will leave me
slick not sticky,
ready for the finale.

Let's say the world is magnificent
Elaborated, impressive, simply beautiful.
A world we dare to dream about
In which we dare to live.

So let's say it exists,
And that I live as you and me,
That the love we share in the future
We dare to share it in this world.

Let's say I'm not alone tonight,
And that I dedicate my life to them.
In this world I dared to have children
I dared to marry you.

Even when I know that it wouldn't last
I still am trying hard
Enduring the moments of despair
cursing the fate for being unfair
Strong believer of miracles, filled with doubts
praying for rains, fed in droughts
Embracing the tear soaked pillow as if a lover
Drinks touching my lips turn sober
Thoughts on swings as if a child
defying strokes as aftereffects of the ride
I still believe that time is life's leveler
I still believe that one day everything will be fine
I still believe that miracles will happen one more time
I still believe,
For all I have is,
Endurance to perceive
Wait to feel
Walk till endeavor.
Forever.