She was standing in front of me.
I could reach out and touch her.
She refused to look at me.
“Please… Just tell me.”
I asked her.
She still didn’t turn, but I heard her sigh.
“Because.”
She said.
“Because you, are beautiful. You hold the stars in your hands, lightning in your head, the moon in your eyes, and all I want to do is to touch you. To hold you. But I always have to stand behind a fence, a wall of glass. You hold the stars in your hands.”
Her voice started to falter.
“And me?”
She asked, as she slowly turned around.
“I am poison.”
She said as I saw her violet eyes,  brimming with tears.
And she jumped.

Every time these four walls seem to be closing in
You swing through them to give me oxygen
Every time these four walls seem to be crashing in
You hold them up to give me oxygen

Every time these thoughts get darker
You light a candle
Every time these thoughts get harder
You help me handle

Every time I need you
You are there for me
Every time I call for you
You come to hold me

So this is my ‘thank you’
For everything you do
Even when I am taking it to far
You are always there to stitch my scar.

I climb this mountain
While my hands bleed true
I climb this mountain
Just for you

You are not between rocks
Or at mountain peak
I climb and bleed
So I don't seem weak

These bleeding hands
are not brave nor bold
I hope you know
They are only yours to hold

I climb this mountain
With no goal or plan
A bleeding testament
To the ego of man

The ties between isolation and liberation
Seem faulty
Unruly
Impossible

But in felt driven black
And blotted skies
I find myself in that between
Awry
From meaning of life and gentrified
Feelings where we are assumed to spend
Most of our time

I tried

I wish I could hammer pointed flathead nails
Into my harrowed chest
Without the screws of drivered nights

Rendering me blind

Though now I understand I’ve been that way my whole life

The comfort of what’s always there
Illusions of truths
Falsified by minds so accustomed to presume
That we are never alone

Absent of human nature

But as the faulty lines
And sharp riptides
And avalanches
Of hidden tries
Rectifies

Nothing

We are alone

I am alone

She doesn’t know me
Where the other won’t hold me

What a shame
Who’s to blame?


Me of course


For my heart is too tortured
To harbor
Any broken armor
I’m just softly
Bandaged and bruised
By life’s tumultues

And I’ll never be arounded
Always surrounded
By fire and demons and unwanted reasons

As to why my mind screams in drones
Of always
Always


Always




Always



Being alone