just for once,
can you look at me,
and tell me if I really there?

All you can say is,
"You are here."
But I never there.
In your heart.

I have changed.

Through the addition of each day,

Through everything I am part of.

I hope I am better,

But it is hard to say.

I do know I am different.

I see the new through everything that has gone before;

Today through yesterday, and the days prior;

Through memories, all memories, each one in its place,

as now mixes with old.

I feel it.

This must be what they call age.

I am reminded..constantly reminded,

That at the passing of each moment,

Of every thought,

Of every memory,

Of everything that has happened,

Of every strong pull,

Of every touch of the heart,

Of every tear that falls,

Of every wound,

which longs to heal,

I can only be here

What you see
It isn't me

I didn't go there looking for you
I went looking for me

But here you are
and somehow in finding you
I think I've found myself to

When you sit & nonchalantly beam
it is such an enchanted scene;
oh you,
you'd turn a grey sky walk into a sunshine mile,
with your here,
with your smile.

I swore I wouldn't love you
But its true
Theres something about you
That I cant find in anyone else

Sometimes, I want to disappear
To find in the void my new now and here
To go back to a state of non-existence
Where life begins anew because it ends


Yet the body wants no death
It longs for no last breath
It wants to dance and jump and run
To bathe in the ocean and feel the sun


But the soul can't see the light
Quiet desperation, a daily fight
Long is the way out of this mess
Can't I get a new one and start fresh?

guess what  
no matter what you say or do  
my ****** does not make me less
male  
my chest does not make me less
male  
my voice does not make me less
male  
i am what i am and you cant change that  
i am a friend  
I am a lover  
I am a brother  
I am not the subject of your study  
I am not the punching bag for your queerfear
i am strong  
i am everything  
i am still here