You kissed my scars..
Then mocked the blood.

You wanted a girl,
To replace the one you lost
Not grief
Not pain,
Not me.

You saw my soul,
and flinched..
I cried and begged for you,
Till I choked on my poison which was you,
And you said, “too much.”

I shattered and you said I was too loud,
I begged,
You lied,
I broke.

And that was the last time
I let the world see me
Hear me
Begged for love

When the scent finally fades
From the pillows and covers
When I can't find strands of hair
On my clothes and carpet

When I redecorate the place
To fill empty spaces
When the profile is deleted
From all of the subscriptions

When I buy fewer groceries
Just to make meals for one
When I change the locks
Carrying the only key

When I stop checking
My phone and socials
When I stop saying goodnight
Because there's no good morning

When I stop hoping
For a dream long gone
When it finally hits me
Of how different life is

That's when I will realize
You are truly gone

I opened the door
to our studio apartment

To collect the strewn memories
That you have left
In the bedroom
on the kitchen floor
Looking over the balcony.


And everytime
I asked myself, darling!
Why me?
Why us?
Why now?

I knew it was a dream
I knew you weren't real
But I hit snooze for the tenth time
Because I wasn't ready to say goodbye

I refused to let you go
I know that if I did
You'd be gone forever
But you promised
Always and Forever
And I don't want a life
Where promises didn't exist

Love.
They say you will find it,
Hopefully, you will feel it,
Learn to need it
and finally feel alive.

Well, that's a lie.
Love will leave you broken.
Grabbing at your chest
trying to rip your heart open.

All you feel is pain.
Fire running through your veins.
Yet, you still want more.

Feeling scared.
Overwhelmed with all these feelings.
Nothing is right.
Put up that wall.
Start to fight.

Breaking and crumbling,
the walls coming down.
Starting to panic
trying to cry out;
can't make a sound

Feeling alone and unwanted.
Understanding what went wrong.
Nothing is your fault...or is it all?
You start to fall.

It's all your fault.
Have to make it right.
You try and try
but they still pass you by.

Head is aching,
body shaking.
Going to explode.
Might overflow.

Numb.
Feelings start to disappear.
You're fine.
You're okay.
Why did you care anyway?

Get up.
Head held high.
You don't need love,
not worth your time.

So much pain.
So much blood.
Too many tears,
all wasted on love.

You are enough.
All you need is me.
No more blood
pain and tears.

I searched for light in everyone else
Lost who I was, dimmed myself.
I cried, I bent, I paid the cost
I am enough- I always was.

After all the **** you put me through                                                          ­                                
                                                                ­                                        
   Claiming all along it's been me not you              
                                                                ­                                    
  You made me feel you were doing me a favor                                                            ­                                        
                                                                ­                                              
  While I gave you all my best behavior                                                                   ­                                
Still, you say I am not good enough                                                                      ­                                                    
   I tell you that I am sorry that my love                                                                   ­                                                
Was something you wanted more of          
                                                                                 
  When I wasn't sure you loved me at all                                                                      ­                                             
    You pushed me away & put up walls                                                                     ­                                                      
  So here we are now, there is mistaking                                                        ­                                   
                             ­                                                                 ­           
  Loving you was a huge undertaking