my heart can’t catch up
stuck back in time
when i was your world
and you were mine
the world kept spinning
a tad too fast
but you moved on
while i stayed behind
reaching for your heart back

it’s bittersweet
watching you grow—
cold on the gym floor
melancholy pouring
out of all your pores
i lay in my blue dress,
trembling in your eyes
pouring out my heart
about our demise
your blank words
hit me hard as stone
you said, “you can’t grow if you hold on to me”
but my heart has never
loved anyone else so deeply
but love like this doesn’t vanish
so, i guess, i’ll someday, let go softly

he drifted away
while i stayed the same.
he sits behind me in class
and im still,
silently grieving our past
i turn around
searching in his eyes,
aching for his ghost
but his sand in the hourglass
slipped too fast
“it’s not like we’re strangers”,
he reluctantly said
shifting his eyes away
as my ruptured heart bled
my mind had too much
and reality was ahead—
i never knew that
“i will never get bored”
expired with a “yet”

my heart still skips a beat
when you send a message,
my phone goes beep beep.

          we're just friends now,
          why does my heart miss beats
          when i hear your beeps?

                  why am i not over you?
                  why can't i stop,
                  stop feeling...

                           feelings so strong, like a thumb
                           hovering over
                                    your name.

Like the Grim Reaper
You took the life I had 
No scythe, no robes, no fear
Just a longing, desperate kiss
A look of yearning, a smile of love
I may still wake up and count the time
But my heart is long gone
Death wasn't cold or hard 
It was warm and soft
An embrace from an angel 
I gave you my future and self
But that future is dead
And that person is gone
My body is still here
But the hopes were slain
The Grim Reaper herself
Was so beautiful and alluring
I didn't realize she killed me 
Not with a blade of doom
But with a tearful goodbye 
My heart pumps blood still
But my heart lives for no one

dog leashed, tied onto a pitch-black pole
woven to the pillar, like you're woven to my soul

every thought about you pours acid in my heart
and i cough out the rest like blood
one day i'm scavenging for water, a paranoid dart
the next i'm drowning in a hot-pink flood

i saw you in the window of that small local store
after becoming a regular, the door wouldn't open anymore
but you looked so pretty when you were so far away
and for some reason i come back every day

but it was so good at first
you made me finally believe
that someone out there could love someone like me

and i told you what i did wrong
and you said you didn't care
but i must've mistaken that love was in the air

i try to talk to you
i try to understand
but every word i say to you
you repeat back, just bland

and you blame it on me?
you say i'm the confusing one
so i chase and chase, give and give
you never let me take some

it's my mistake i put love first
my mistake i wasn't rational
my mistake that when you said you liked me
i somehow didn't think it was casual

i'm a dog waiting at your door
saliva puddle on your wooden floor
i wait for you to come back
like i'm tied to a pole, pitch-black

my hunger has been satiated now
i open my eyes for the sixth time
this has gone much longer than i can allow
you're making me run out of rhyme
i guess it was my mistake that even then, even now
i somehow thought you would be mine.

Darling, you are the trail of salty cheeks and all the sin that reeks.
You cried after your very first kiss—the kind that tasted like lies,
the kind that convinced you it might last. But lust? Lust is just
deceit in disguise— a beautiful trick of the mouth. You tried to
overstep the world, but stubbed your toe against life’s edge,
pushing harder than you were ever meant to move. And still,
no matter how many nightmares rip through your sleep, the
bed stays soft. And indifferent.

You wrapped all your dreams in an old cloth, thinking maybe
passion—true passion—could burn hotter than any of them. Your
love is precious, nearly pure. But the purest intent rarely carries
you far. It only cuts deeper. And the purest scars are always the
ones left by trying to love right— and too hard.

The days vanish too quickly beneath passion’s flame. The lame
try to stand tall. The insomniac finds the courage to dream again.
And I— I wear my faith like a badge, only to have it thrown back
in my face.

Still, we do what we must. We put on that brave face. We face
the morning. We press on. Because that’s what love leaves behind—
something unfinished, something heavy, something we wear like
the skin on our face.

i didn’t know it would change.
not like this.
not slowly.
not without a moment to hold onto.

you laughed.
it made me feel safe.
alive, even.
that kind of light doesn’t happen often.
and I chased it.
all I wanted to do was make you laugh.

now it’s quieter.
your name shows up less.
you don’t ask to see me.
you wait for me to reach out.
and even then, it’s different.
you say “maybe” to us hanging out.
like i’m the last person you want to be with.

i used to be in your bed.
i used to feel okay there.
like nothing could break me as long as you were near.

now i’m a little lost.
a little cold.
a little too aware of the space beside me.
between us.

maybe i used you.
not on purpose.
but to feel whole.
to feel wanted.
to feel like i could breathe.

that wasn’t fair to you.
i know that now.

but i still miss you.
i still check my phone.
still wonder what you’re doing.
still remember how your presence softened everything.

i’m adjusting.
some days are easier.
some days are still heavy.
but i’m learning to sit with it.

i want more.
not as much as you’d think.
just a little more.
even now.
even if i shouldn’t.
even if you don’t.

and maybe just missing you has to be enough.
I don’t see another way out.
you totally caught my attention.
and now, i fear how hard it will be to get it back.