I remember the happiness of being a child
I remember the blissfulness of climbing trees
I remember smiling wide for pictures with new friends
I remember pleading with my mom to stay outside longer
I remember coming to the age of double digits
I remember the phases my mom said wouldn’t last
I remember laughing about the phases later
I remember finally forming friendships with my brothers
I remember saying “I’ve been alive for a whole decade!”
I remember reaching the teenage years
I remember the gradual downfall
I remember asking for the room to be quieter
I remember staying home more frequently
I remember sleeping less
I remember the distinct hospital smell
I remember the confusion on my doctor’s face
I remember the yellow prescription bottles
I remember the disappointment on my parent’s faces
I remember clutching my head
I remember begging for relief
I remember the boiling in my chest
I remember yelling at the sky
I remember asking, “Why me?”
I remember the hopelessness
I remember desperation
I remember nearly giving up
I remember the acceptance of chronic pain
Now, I’m left with memories
Of the happiness of being a child



-j.h

Pounding
  Pounding
           Pounding
                            POUNding
                                         POUNDING
                      poUNDING
               POUND
ING
       ING
POUND

Everyday
It pounds
Each side
I'm on the
     ground
Crying
Cry

   Ing
How many times
Can i wish
     For
        Eternal
Dark

            Ness

Yo,
Yeah you,
Brother, best friend.

I'm doing just fine.

I'm tending to those curls my mother gave me
And yeah, honey, I can still rhyme.

You can call me daddy
Actually, call me sir
But nothing will ever compare you to her.

Yeah.
We was cool.
Totally.
I didn't care that he was on your phone.
Not even on your mind.
I just want you to know it hurt when you lied.

At least a thousand times.

But it's cool, little one,
Cuz so did I.

I just hope he appreciates that miracle on your thigh.

Spit in my face.
Whatever, it's easy to see u don care.

But sincerely, cute thing.
Love gets you nowhere.

Tell the world-
The ******* Galaxy for all I care.

But when I needed a real woman;
My person,
You weren't there.

If you think that I care who you're *******,

You're wrong,
As long as I'm still walking art
*******

I'm strong.

A nail through the skull
Repeatedly pulsing, hot:
A migraine headache

I would like to punch this headache in the face.

A groan
A moan
Head ready to burst
Pickkkkk it upppp, yessssshhh
The traitorous voice hisses within
Pikkkkk it up and alllll your worrrrries are gonnnnneeeeee
I try-TRY to resist
Six is more than enough!
This vicious cycle cannot continue!

Too late
I’m binging on another tub of ice cream for another hour of Netflix
And another splitting headache coming right up

Ringing
Burst of nothingness
Fallen into mind
They scream
They bleat
Falling silently
Nothing to fleat
The flies swarm
They fleat
The tombs hide
Continue to eat
Gasp and cry
Buried inside
Beneith

that-that pain
uhuh it's in my head i guess?
like my eyebrows are being pulled over my eyes
oh lord it HUrts
okay makayla breathe you will be fine.
no NO NO
i will not be fine when i have this
headache
aching and paining
ugh
this headache