I can show you heaven
Joking about that crow we saw
Texting until three in the morning
Hiding just how much you mean to me
I can show you hell
Remember what you said to her
Ghost you for weeks
Hiding just what you mean to me
I can show you love
Thanksgiving with my family
Laughing in the rain
Planning a future
I can show you hate
A side eye in the hallway
Screaming at each other
You’ll walk out in tears
I’ll leave just fine

I reach for water in the desert,
a mirage shimmering in the heat.
My lips are cracked with longing,
my heart, a vessel, pleading to be filled.

But when I kneel to drink,
I taste only sand—
grains that cut, not quench,
dust that dries the soul.

the burning hatred
has become all I am inside

it is rooted so deep
that from it I can no longer hide

because the malice
is suffocating me like a vine

I can’t even remember
when was the last time

there was a memory
I could proudly call mine

I will no longer fight fate
Confronting destiny is a losing battle
It will change the course of everything that is meant to be
No more contemplating an accidental run-in
No more “hopefully we will see each other soon”
If I never see you again, I know it’s kismet
Obstinance will not take over
I will write down everything that went wrong and repeat it until there is no more soul left in my tears

Until I make myself forget what was beautiful
Oh, but the beautiful was so beautiful
I can’t forget when our hands were gripped together, and we held on for dear life
Like they were about to be ripped from our limbs and neither of us wanted to let go
Your soul merged into mine within seconds
I felt electrical circuits binding us together and I’m sure we were emanating some type of energy force
This was our “I love you”
It’s hard to let go
But I will no longer fight fate

a strange feeling of emptiness,
all I asked for was your tenderness,
your gentleness,
not for you to send me into a spiral of loneliness,
not a human, just a collection of messiness,
messy memories, messy emotions, messy life,
you got me thinking about that knife,
I'm just empty of life,
should've had love, but all we have is a strife,
once upon a time, our love was rife,
why didn't we work out, we should have,
a second chance, all I crave,
I should already be in my grave,
but somehow you managed to save,
a soul that wanted out,
days of your time, for me to spout,
all you did was make me a lout,
our love, meant to be stout,
yet without a doubt,
it all jumped off of a mount,
I hate you, I love you, I want you,
we were supposed to be "too good to be true",
yet I'm left with a pile of your doo-doo.

The audacity
Of your tongue
To be shaped like a flower
But to speak like a serpent

The animosity
Of my chest
It heaves each time your near
You pollute my very air

Disgust and contempt
Don't begin to explain
How much I seeth
When I hear your vile name

Your so popular and I’m so picky
I choose friends that are better than me
Because maybe they can make me feel better abt the myself
But being at the top isn’t so fun when your at the bottom of the top
Because you have so many friends
And I have you
I have other friends but I don’t like them
Because I’m so picky and I need you
But I hate that you don’t need me
Not even a little
Not even at all
And I hate that your my best friend
But I’m not yours
And it makes sense
Because I’m at the bottom of the top
Just barely making it
So choose someone better
Someone nicer and prettier
You deserve it
I’ll try to be less picky

Hurts to see you well
Hurts to know on us I cast a spell
Hurts to sleep without you by my side
Hurts to know I did you right

While I did myself wrong
Gotta play it strong
Ego at play, our ships at bay
Our love in decay.

Don't let me play
I'm not here to slay
Demons, I am here for thy prison
But you'll have to beg for a new season
My love didn't need a reason
But my hate longs for treason.

my therapist said to love the things that are wrong with me
but why should i love starving myself
or having so much rage
cuz one day i will crash out
loving all these horrible things?
it reminds me of loving M
i want to name drop him
expose him
but that’s dangerous
but i have to love the way that i hate that i loved you
and love the things about me you hated
that i grew to hate too
but now i have C
and he’s teaching me that i have every right to hate you
so with that i say
“I HATE YOU!”
much better

Sitting alone at home
In the eerie glow of our
Phone or watching the
World through our TV.
We may or may not care
Because we know we're
not there, but what will
We do when we will be!

But the answer can't
Always be "I'll face it
Only when it eclipses me"
Because we must be
Wide awake and stay
Awake in our research
And engagement with
Others at stake to
Understand the various
Levels of hate so we
Can be effective when
Faced with it head-on!