i never had the chance to say goodbye.
i didn't even know she was going to leave
leave me here to deal with her problems.
it seemed selfish at the moment
incompetent
rude.
i couldn't understand the reason she left like this.
i couldn't comprehend it; i was frustrated.
why?
why'd she have to go without a word? why'd she leave as if to think i'd be okay with this?
it always brings me to tears just trying to remember her when
i can't.
i can't remember how she smiled
how she laughed
how she talked
how she used to be
before she became me.
the me i am now, today, and forever more.
the me that was influenced by those who are insufferable.
a selfish, ugly, good for nothing ******* who can barely hold herself together.
i want her to come back.
i want to be happy again.
but what's the point of wanting something that has already ceased to exist?

again...

a thought
pursued freedom

gone forever

from my mind

when you miss something do you miss a person, place, or thing?

or do you miss a time?


you miss the idolized version, at least that much is true.

you miss the good times, the times when everything felt okay.


you forget the words laced with poison,
the painful moments that dripped with hate.
and i'm not sure whether that's better or worse

He wrote line after line
Filling pages with words of ink
Storms alive in his eyes
Pen grasping paper, barely breathing from letter to letter

Ideas swarm his mind
Like sharks in an ocean
Preying on anything they can find
Growing from a sea filled with life

He couldn't sleep at night
Because the same sheep he counted
Told him stories ever beautiful
Stories that needed to be shared
Captured in the fleeting moments they're spoken
Or lost to slumber for eternity

As his journal filled, he was humbled
Thirst quenched by words that didn't get away
With his words archived securely
He could finally close his eyes

As I burn
Your absence
With whiskey

Try not to tame the ashes
Pray the sky returns to its forgetful sleep

Time lingers on like an unseen ghost
that keeps raising my hackles
to keep me on my toes

I rub my arms for warmth on 100 degree days
I forget my coat in snowstorms
I have no sense of direction
Yet I know something has changed

Time has broken the unspoken
Do you miss me....

facts bounce off me like rubber
wisdom sticks to me like glue
why is it i cannot remember
all of the things that i do

when i am lying wide awake
and think of all things near
i can always remember
the reasons why i am here

i may forget quite a bit
but it doesn't matter to me
as long as i know what truly matters
i will always remain free

I’m so easily distracted
My inner vision gets refracted.
While I’m nothing like a dope
Inside my head a kaleidoscope
Makes the movies in my head
Sometimes keep me in bed
Until I see the world squarely
But, that happens so rarely.

I’m regularly absentminded
And organizationally blinded;
The kind who walks across the floor
And forgot what he was going for.
It’s not that I can’t tie my shoes
But may not know which remote to use.
But, if I set something down somewhere
I might not be able to find it on a dare.

In school I went to the wrong classes
And could almost never find my glasses.
It would be wise if people would wear
Name tags that tell me who and where
We know each other in full detail.
If left to me, every time I will fail.
It’s not that I am a brainless person,
It’s just that I’m the forgetful version.

Before I started draining parts of me
onto this page
I couldn't see for the clearest of paths,
I would dwell,
Hide away in my own safe house
Of saturated stories.

I would scratch my head catching gravity
between my fingertips.
A color would be a rainbow in black skies
of circling crows.

The floor around me would move
dancing along,
It would lead me and my pen to paper
Like a knight's sword to stone.
I would wonder why my mind
Could paint,
My thoughts would explode
into millions of fireflies.

Sometimes I would see the most
flawless imagery
But I couldn't write it down for the awe
of being lost,
Inside my own world of untold stories,
and poetry.