Hyper fixated
my mind keeps on racing
with entwined and abrasive
slights to my native ways and my nature
always finding a way to
sabotage and engrain a
sense of imminent danger
along with the worst ways to
mend and to gauge
making positive changes
on how I appear to myself in my brain
I'm hyper fixated
My mind keeps on racing...

It’s you and this time
That I revisit the most
Captured past in glass

My deepest darkest wondering
Is my most profound fear
Have you forgotten me
Since I'm no longer near?

Reciprocity's expected
Recalling how you cared
This pain of remembrance
Would be lessened if it's shared

But if the worst is true
You've erased me from your mind
My fear would breed a sadness
And leave past joy behind

As for me I can't move on
I've tried to shut the door
My mind and soul return to you
And will forevermore

Why are you still on my mind? You represent emotions that won't fade, that  refuse to give way,  that won't let me make way, for the present.

Even though I know you are wrong for me,  why do you feel so right?

I want to write about another, about some other person,  anyone.  But here it is,  the only thing that motivates me to pen my thoughts  is you,  why?

Its twisted how I am so addicted to even the thought of you.
My minds eye doesn't even picture you,  yet I feel hopelessly fixated on every inch of you.

I want you. I want the person I thought you were.  Why can't you be her?

I want to fall in love with another. How do I evict you from my mind? To throw you out, kick you out, leave you out in the cold, like I was too many times.

It might not have been a real cold pavement onto which you dumped me,  but baby,  the pain I felt was like ice.

Yet being so fixated on you sometimes warms me like the embers of a great fire that once raged bright.

Why are you still on my mind?

To often we fail to tune ourselves in.
   We get caught in rut after rut,
      Morphing into puppets... just going with the motions.
Too fixated on all we could lose to recognize each win.
   So weary of love we keep our hearts bolted shut.
      We are so afraid of change we cringe at the notion.

Sometimes you need to runaway from reality,
   Take a leap off of comforts shoulder…
      And dive into your intuition.
Free yourself from that corrupt mentality,
   And smile to keep the world from growing any colder.
      Your soul will sing a melody of bittersweet honesty…just listen.

That is where true beauty lay…
   In each untouched corner of your heart,
      Beneath each unspoken word of your inner voice.
It is never to late when you are blessed with another day.
   To live simply, take a breath and let the past part…
      And confidently make happiness your choice.